Thoughtful Mood

What you feel when you feel lonely

2010-01-10T10:59:00.000+05:30

Found a nice post by blogger Heena about Loneliness. It is the similarity of our thoughts that makes me post this link from her blog.

http://unboundspirit-heena.blogspot.com/2010/01/feeling-lonely.html

Do something that adds value, not takes up space

2010-01-04T22:44:00.001+05:30

I read the post The white collar underclass by Steve Sammartino. A lot of the points made there are valid with regards to white collar workers.

Working for 12 hours or more and on weekends without overtime is quite common with us. No representation to protect employment conditions is quite true. Thou I wonder if this is a global tendency or not as some countries do have representation even for white collar workers.

If you are workers, you tend to panic in an economic downturn because the most impact is felt by workers rather than innovators.

Do something that adds value, not takes up space is the best advice to start this new year 2010 with. As Steve mentions, if you want to do something that adds value, just do it whether on nights or on weekends and even if there is no income.

Sometimes it takes an idiot to change things

2010-01-03T22:07:00.000+05:30

Sometimes it takes an idiot to make people realize that things have to be changed. Watched the movie 3 idiots today. It's a great movie and what was best that many of the things I could relate to due to my engineering background.

The movie shows well the pressures faced by children especially from a country like India where to be an engineer or a doctor is supposed to be the only options to a successful and high earning career.

The movie highlights what we engineers have known all along. And I suppose even the movie will not change much of what happens in an engineering institution.

Engineering for us students begins with subjects which hardly have relevance to what we want to learn. All students are supposed to learn physics, chemistry, mechanics and drawing inspite of opting for a specialization like computers, it, electronics.

The assignments given to students are just a way of earning money by selling papers with the stamps of their respective institutions. Students end up copying the assignments written by a few "Chatur" like students. Sometimes even if some words are not clear or understood, students just copy the design patterns :)

The practicals are just adhering to a set of do's and dont's already set by the pre written and age old journals from the old batches.

The exams are just tailor made for students who can mug up a lot of information. It hardly matters say for example if you know how to develop good software if you can just rote the program and write it on the paper.

While helping a woman deliver a baby with a vacuum machine is atrocious, it just tries to prove a point that it is using your understanding to create things that is more important than just reading from textbooks.

A little love

2009-03-08T01:15:00.002+05:30

A little love - Kevin Rodrigues

Don't want fortune,
Don't need fame
All I want is a little love
Is it too much to ask for?

Have I asked for too much?
Can't I have a dream?
I don't want to reach the stars
I only want to reach your heart
All I want is a little love
Is it too much to ask for?

For a moment, I thought it was real
I should have known the boundaries
But I love the way you make me feel
I want you to feel the same
All I want is a little love
Is it too much to ask for?

Try to break this wall between us
Till I lose consiousness
If only I have your strength,
I will fight the world
All I want is a little love
Is it too much to ask for?

Everyday I reach out my hand
Hoping you will grasp it
But hope is a lover's privilege
I cannot hope to have
All I want is a little love
Is it too much to ask for?
Don't you feel the same?

Chimana aani Chimani

2009-01-25T04:43:00.003+05:30

Poem forwarded by a friend. Found it beautiful.

Ek hota Chimana aani ek hoti chimani
Chimana motha rubabadar aani chimani agadich sumar
Tarihi ekmekanche jivalag yaar.

Velat vel kadhun ekmekanshi bolayache,
Ekmekana chidavayache aani khup khup hasayache.

Chimanichya manat ek khulat hote gupit,
Chimanya baddal che prem tichya manachya kupit

Roj roj kare devakade prarthana,
tyachyahi manat asu det ashach kahisha bhavana

Ek divas dheer karun tine sagale sangitale
Pan tila tyane agadi sahaj nakarale

Tyala mhane ase kahich vatat navate,
Tyachya dolyat prem aahe he agadi zooth hote

Ka “Nahi” hyachi barich karane sangitali
Pan chimanichya manala ti ajibat nahi patali

Chimani tashich ghari geli, tikade jaun khup radali
Kay karave kalena, radu tichyane aavarena

Chimanila ek upay suchala, tine chimanyashi abola dharala
Chimnyala matra hyacha sudha kahich farak nahi padala

Chimana agadich khushit hota, navin swapne pahat hota
Kadachit to thoda jastach practical hota

Chimanine sudha aata hasat jagayache tharavale
Pan ekantatale ashru tila kadhich nahi avarale

Ektarfi asale tari chimaniche chimanyavar agadi khare prem hote
Pan kadachit khare prem Chimanyachya nashibi navate

Ek prashna matra tila aayushyabhar satavat rahila
Chimanyachya dolyat tila disalele prem ha nusata "AABHAS" kasa tharala ?

Eyes

2008-12-14T02:43:00.002+05:30

Eyes - Kevin Rodrigues

I watch you looking as bright as the sun
I try to get closer
Smitten that I am by you
Your presence is like the warmth of fire
It draws me close to you

No words or actions are necessary
Just being close to you sets me free
Then begins to dawn reality
What could be and what is there to see

The heart has hope but the mind doesn't
A constant battle between the two
Leaves both in a state unpleasant
Indecision causes the mood to go blue

Wishing my eyes filled with hope
Would express what words could not say
Imagine how my heart would cope
If the moment of love was here to stay

Abruptly ends my illusion
As I watch in your beautiful eyes
There seems to be some confusion
As they seek someone's presence

They move away from my direction
To a place away from my stand
There seems to be some distraction
What seems like an entrance grand

My eyes have lost this fight
Now they are filled with tears
Tried with all their might
How true now are their fears.

Oh My God!

2008-12-13T22:02:00.002+05:30

Watched the movie Oh, My God! It starts off pretty ok but the ending was average and could have been better. I'm actually beginning to kind of enjoy bollywood movies considering the amount of variety in story and concept that is available these days (I kind of dislike the typical run around the bush emotional types. They are OK once in a while but get on my nerves when every movie seems that way). I feel movies should have a message which a common person can relate to. So that when people watch a movie they have an aha (this happened to me moment). That's what makes it fun to watch.

Coming back to Oh, My God!, it is a movie which is based on the thought that earning money is not everything in this world. There are things (family, friends, life) which is much, much more important. How we should be giving a more priority to the small things in life which make life worth living. Many people spend most of their time running after trying to make more money. And most do so at the cost of spending less time on the things that really matter. Money is really important, considering that in our present world, many things can be bought by money. But then the question is how much is enough. Somehow, people are never satisfied by the amount of money that they have. Even millionaires and billionaires are always finding themselves in the race to earn more money.

Actually it's a people's choice. If you want to set your goal in life to earn more money, kindly do so. Personally, I consider money as a means of buying things. But it's love, values and respect that are far more important .

So when the stock markets crumble or the interest rates fall, some guys have to say "Oh, My God!, we have lost so much in life" while the wise ones just shrug their shoulders and say "Thank you God" for what we have in life.

Terrorist attacks in Mumbai

2008-12-01T00:14:00.003+05:30

I am sure we all are aware of the terrorist attacks that happened in Mumbai.
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/11/mumbai_under_attack.html

Salute to all the heroes who sacrified their lives so that the city is once again safe for us. May their souls rest in peace.

Also I along with others hope that this will not be forgotten in a couple of months.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Major_attacks_in_India_since_2003/articleshow/3772437.cms

We need to start a movement as mentioned by people which will start a change in the way our country is being handled.

I am not going to perform a postmortem of this attack because I am incapable of doing so. Though I would be proud to be a part of any movement which can bring about the change that India badly needs.

EMI

2008-11-10T01:00:00.004+05:30

Watched the movie EMI yesterday. It's about loans and credit in India. The movie shows a story of four people who use credit and loans and cannot repay them back. And how they end up being pressurized by the bank.

Some points were really worth thinking about. It's really scary how people borrow loans with repayment period of 15-20 years. We cannot even predict our lives tomorrow and we assume about such a long time. So much can change in those years. It's no fault of people as well. Consider the case of the housing loans. Middle class people cannot be expected to buy a house without a loan considering the current rates in real estate which seem incredibly high.

Then there are people who survive on credit cards. It's easy to get a free credit card. So just use it and when you need to pay up, just pay it from another credit card. And the cycle continues.

The moral of the movie (if it had any) was to use loans responsibly. What I feel is that people should not be greedy for the luxuries of life. Sure we should always aim for a good life. But do we really need that car when we have public transportation? Or do we really need that Rs. 2 lakh plasma TV? And that too on loans?

I guess it's just a question of how much is enough. Sadly for us it never is.

Think

2008-09-28T20:20:00.003+05:30

There have been a spate of bomb blasts in India recently, especially in Delhi. I had a few heated conversations with a friend (since this is one of the subjects that I consider my emotional triggers). My point of view was simple. What is the reason to live in a country where you have a constant fear of getting yourself or your family killed by some idiots for no apparent reason. My friend told me the usual stuff that India is our country, we should not run away, etc, etc. And that I would be selfish if I would not stay there. I guess most of my friends will voice this same opinion. I asked why and it was mentioned that all of our family and friends are in India and so we cannot run away. Well, isn't that an even more selfish answer.

The question I carried further was if you knew that your loved one was about to die tomorrow in a bomb explosion and you had a chance to save him by moving him to a more peaceful place, would you do it or not? Would you, just for harping a few words of patriotism allow your family to be killed? As expected I got no answer. I still think about this and can't still understand why people fail to realize the truth. The truth that we in India have placed our security in a very compromising position.

The movie "A Wednesday" express beautifully what I am trying to explain. Ah, but who cares and what will I achieve by mentioning this. Nothing will change, nothing ever seems to change in our country for good (no they are not pessimistic thoughts just reality). I just hope I can do something about it for my loved ones.

What is your opinion? What is your answer?

The girl by the window

2008-09-15T23:08:00.002+05:30

The girl by the window - Kevin Rodrigues

I woke up as usual today

It's a cold, windy morning in Norway

Walking alone on my way to the station

Hands in my pocket, and in my mind, imagination

A handful of people walking along their path

I wonder what story each has in his heart

Passing by the Palace with its beautiful ground

Watching the birds as they scamper around

I reach the station in about fifteen

A few trains pass with their seats empty

Waiting for the train that is seven twenty

Looking around, observing as much as I can see

In the other direction, a train comes by

MY eyes wander, trying something to find

They finally see what they have been searching then

The girl by the window have I seen once again

It's a wonderful life

2008-08-16T22:52:00.003+05:30

I watched a black and white english movie called "It's a wonderful life" today. I really enjoyed the movie. It seemed a lot like one of those old Hindi black and white movies. And yet it did have a good story. Infact, a very inspirational story.

The story begins with the Gods deciding to send an angel to help someone because there are a lot of people who are praying for that someone. Who is that someone? That some one is George Bailey. Whos is George Bailey? The movie continues from George's childhood where he saves his brother from drowning but in the process loses the hearing in one of his ears. As a kid he works in a chemist shop. One day his owner accidentally mixes poision in someones medicine and asks him to deliver it. He knows that its poison and does not do so. So he gets thrashed by his employer (of course, after knowing the truth, the employer apologises). George keeps on doing good acts for people. Thinking about other people before himself. He wants to travel the world and has many dreams. But as he is about to leave his hometown to go study in New York, his father passes away. His father had owned a Loan Bank which he does not want to work for. But after his father passes away to settle things up he works in it for four months. Later as he decides to go to college he comes to know that his loan bank will be closed down. And if that happens many poor people will not get loans as the only other money lender is a very greedy man. So once again he sacrifices his life and works for the bank for four years. He sends his brother to college hoping that after four years he will come back to work for some time and he can pursue his dreams. After four years when his brother does come back, he has already married a girl from New York and has a job at her father's factory. George is very disappointed that his dreams are crushed once again. But still he decides to sacrifice and is happy for his brother. After some time George gets married as well. As he is leaving for his honeymoon, he noticies a crowd near the loan bank. All the other banks have been shut down and so people have flocked to his bank for their money. But there is not much in the bank. So his wife who is a lovely woman as well sacrifices all their honeymoon money for the people. George has to overcome many difficulties in his life but he also gets a good wife in Mary and has lovely children who make his life worth living.

One day his uncle who goes to deposit all the money in the bank misplaces the money. So there is a deficit of 8000 dollars in the bank which they can't pay. This amounts to fraud and could land George in jail. George is very depressed and expresses his anger with many people he meets. He shouts at his wife and kids. And goes to the greedy money lender for money. But all he has is his life insurance. So he decides to end his life. As he is about to jump from the bridge, another man jumps into it and screams for help. George saves this man's life. The man tells him that he is an angel and he jumped in because he knew that George was about to jump and so he saved George's life instead of the other way around. George doesn't believe it. The angel tells him that his life is too beautiful to be wasted on such matters. But George doesn't agree. He feels his life is a waste and wishes he was never born. The angel grants him his wish. And then he does not exist in the world. None of his family and friends recognize him. Since he was not there, his brother whom he had saved drowned. His employer who had accidentally mixed poison in the medicine is in jail. His wife and mother don't recognize him either.

Finally George realizes what a wonderful life he has. He remembers his wife, kids and all the friends he had. He prays to God to return his life back to him. And so in the end everything is a happy ending.

P.S: Hope some one who thinks their life is not special read this and understood my pathetic way of conveying a message. That your life is very, very special. And don't you ever forget that.

Kismat

2008-08-09T21:43:00.003+05:30

Hmm. Just watched Kismat Konnection. So some thoughts on Kismat are expected I guess :)

Kismat stands for Luck in Hindi. So what is luck? Is there really luck? As shown in the movie, do things such as lucky charms work? Why do so many people believe in luck? Does it exist or is it a figment of our imagination put by humans so that they can place their fortunes or misfortunes on something other than themselves when they don't understand some things happening in their lives?

My thoughts are that there might be something as luck. We might be calling it a wrong term maybe. Maybe it is a part of something more. But we can just feel whenever luck seems to play a part. Sometimes we get good luck and sometimes bad. Sure that doesn't mean we just sit and let things just happen based on luck. Scientifically, luck may be related to probability. If you can increase your chances to do something in a particular situation then you are bound to have more success and obviously can be supposed to have good luck. And the opposite is also true. So if you want to be more lucky, I guess you just have to increase your chances in whatever you want to do. And your success rate will increase. So I guess luck in humans may be related to intelligence. If you can face any situation intelligently, you have less chances of having bad luck and more chances of having good luck.

And yes, you should consider yourself lucky to read this post :)

Contemplation about life

2008-07-31T09:35:00.005+05:30

Have been thinking about life? What is it for us? Is it supposed to be having goals and trying to achieve them? Or is it just enjoying the moment for the time we have on the earth? Or maybe it is a combination of both.

Life with goals:
It seems that we always tend to fail at most of the things we do. Some people more, some people less. Every time I have some small goals in life. And every time I work towards them. Enthusiastic in the beginning but as time passes, it starts to decrease. Like I am trying to learn Norwegian, but since the last week I haven't read much of it. Maybe it is because the goals are not clear. Or maybe because I do not have enough discipline. Same case goes for my blogging. I started blogging because I wanted to write stuff that comes in my mind. But sometimes the mind just goes blank. So maybe it is human nature to fail. Maybe life is not about achieving success. Maybe life is to fail and struggle to get back on the road to success. This may be even more important than success. So that when success is achieved, the journey counts more than it.

All the people I have met, some time or the other have said that their life sucks because they fail. Even I say that my life sucks because I have failed in more things than I may have succeeded in. But maybe it is supposed to suck. Life is supposed to be good when it sucks and we try to make it better. Not only our life but that of our loved ones. When they feel their life is dull, maybe it is our duty to brighten it. So that indirectly, our life gets brightened too.

Hmm, so what to do when things don't turn out the way we want them to. I guess just realize that it is going to be that way. Life sucks and we got to live with it. Guess the answer is somewhat related to a positive attitude. Whatever happens in life, there is always something to learn. So that we don't make the same mistakes again. So that possibly the next time life doesn't suck because of that. And that learning from our failures we can succeed. That we have the discipline to get up if we fall in life instead of lying on the ground and sulking.

Enjoying life's moments:
I feel this is one of the most important things which we humans have been gifted with. We can savor a lot of moments in our lives. Everything is so beautiful. Nature, animals, family, friends, work. But then again we start taking everything for granted. We assume everything is just for us and start worrying about things we want. One day just have a walk in the park and look at the trees, the birds, the people. We need to see the beauty in it. Every moment of our life is a gift. I know we all have our worries and problems. But how much of that worry is necessary. I have seen people worry about success, money, happiness, etc. Yeah, to an extent we should be thinking about these things but never worry about them. As I said we have goals and we might fail but it just means that we have to try again and not stop. So why not enjoy the journey to our goals. Maybe some of us might find that the journey is our goal. That enjoying life's moments brings us more joy than what we supposed we wanted. So just realise that everything has beauty. We just don't notice how many wonderful things happen in our life. Taking everything for granted.

Love, rejection and acceptance

2008-07-20T18:05:00.001+05:30

No I'm not a love guru or anything. But I intend to give my 2 cents about this topic. Because it has always been at the back of my mind and maybe it will do good to you as well.

We think of love as this wonderful magic that suddenly happens. We meet a guy/girl who seems to match our required characteristics. This is the so called "Love at first sight". For others, it is just a process of gradually falling in love.

OK, then everything is wonderful and we are in love. So that is great until something we forgot about. We do not know if that other person shares the same feelings as we do. So what do we do? We try to indirectly convince the other person to fall in love with us. By several ways such as trying to impress the other person. If the other person falls in love with us, everything is fine, everything is beautiful.

But what if it doesn't happen? What if the other person doesn't share the same feelings as we do? What if the other person doesn't love us in return? It becomes difficult to accept it, right? Somehow, somewhere there is always hope that maybe, just maybe, there is a way of convincing the other person that we are the perfect match for him/her. We as humans are emotional and the heart has been given too much hope in such situations. Now it is good to have hope especially in case of love. But what if it is not working out. What if the other person is least interested in you? Then it starts to get dangerous, doesn't it? Everyday, every time we remember the moments, we get distracted from whatever we set out to do. The hope within us tries to find a way. We react like a drowning man who will try to grab everything, even a straw if he get's one.

Well, my friend, that is where comes the part of acceptance. Now I don't know how to draw the line between trying to convince the other person and acceptance of his/her disinterest, I really don't. Perhaps, somehow it just comes in our mind and we will know when we have to accept things as they are. But once we know that we have to accept the situation, it is better to accept it rather than causing pain to ourselves. Maybe we have trouble accepting it. But we can take help from our friends who will always be there for support.

Falling in love is a wonderful thing. I have fallen in love too. And there seems no greater suffering than rejection. That too I have undergone. So here is advice from one who has suffered a broken heart to another, some advice from experience of my own and other wise people before me. Falling in love is beautiful, being loved is even more beautiful, but letting a loved one have his own free will is spiritual. Time, my friend, will heal everything. It always does. Maybe, such things leave a scar or two on the heart. But maybe there is some lessons we learn from such events. Perhaps, it is to make us wiser so that in the future, our love gets what it deserves. Maybe, it happened so that we can appreciate true love when we will get it.

Where there is a will, there is a way

2008-07-19T12:46:00.001+05:30

We always here the words "Will power".

What do we mean by will power? Will power is the inner strength to try to reach your goal even if the road to that goal is full of difficulties.

We hear a lot of stories about how people achieve success by sheer will power. All of the people who have been successful in any field, whether business or sports or education are people who have tremendous will power. Actually we haven't to look that far our in the world. Everyone including us as humans have great potential of using our will power.

Will power can and should be used by us for achieving what we want to. We all have goals in our lives. Some of us want success, some want fame, some want money, some love, etc. Whatever be our goal, we can and should use will power to achieve it. When we set out to achieve goals, there are going to be obstacles. It's like a football match. The goal post is right in front of us. But there is no direct way to get there. There are obstacles at many places. The path to the goal is not straight forward and every time we have to change our way. If we keep on worrying that we cannot achieve that goal, then it is not possible. Without will power, we fail even before we begin. But when we use will power, if we believe that whatever the difficulties, we will succeed then success becomes possible.

Can non practical things be achieved with will power? Well, things are unachievable unless they are achieved. If we look through history, a lot many things would not exist if it were not for sheer will power. The electricity that we get, the cars that we travel in, the technology that we use, nothing would exist if it were not the will power of the people to create them. Before these things existed, they were supposed to be unachievable. But it was because people believed that they could do those things and even though there were failures and many difficulties, they had tremendous will power and managed to reach their goals. Maybe, we might not want to achieve such things and change the world's history. But each of us has our goals to achieve which are big for us. So we need to keep using our will power to reach them whatever be the distractions.

My friend asks if will power can get you a promotion. Well, yes, if that is what you want to achieve. I can tell my views if that would be my goal. I would try and find out what it takes to get a promotion. This I would do by asking the people who provide promotions as to what they expect of people to give them a promotion. I would tell them that I will be working to achieve that. I would also look at people who have been successful at work. If possible try and talk to them, analyse how they learn, how they work. Learn from their life. And use my will power to try and reach that position.

Life can be boring sometimes, but...

2008-07-17T10:01:00.002+05:30

One of my friends tells me that she is bored from life. Now I am not going to give some advice saying that life is not boring or anything because I can't preach even to save my own life. But it is true when it is said that life is what we make of it. Yes life can get boring because of the monotony in it. Doing the same things day after day can cause boredom. So what to do when such days come biting at you.

Now these are not solutions I suggest but those that have been given by wise people over the generations. One suggestion is to do something new and different everyday. Now by new I don't mean going on top of a mountain and doing a bungee jump. Anything simple is good enough. Trying a new way to reach home. Reading something different you were never interested in. Doing something you would rather dislike are some of the things that might be suggested.

At times we also feel that life sucks. Well, maybe it does. But it only does because we see it that way. We want a lot of things from life. Some want money, some want happiness, some want love, etc, etc. Believe me if we really want something, humans have a great capacity to achieve it. But there is a catch. Most of the times, we will not get it at the first try. And it's not that we f.ail. Every failure is a milestone to teach us somethings. It's like trying to find a destination. And we reach a dead end. We don't just sit and cry at that end. We go back some distance and then try a different way which may lead us to our destination.

Seems like I preached a lot of stuff and you may consider me an optimist guru. But on the contrary, I am more of a realist. Whenever I try doing anything in life, I expect that failures can be a part of it rather than always expecting that I will succeed. But then when I fail at something, it doesn't seem so bad because I knew the possibility was always there. So I accept it and try to rectify the situation as much as I can and get back to try and reach ny goal.

So the bottom line my friend is that life can be boring sometimes, but you have a beautiful mind to come out of that boredom.

Lazy Programmer

2008-05-08T22:13:00.001+05:30

They say a lazy programmer is a good programmer. Because such programmers use their minds to minimize their work that to just do rigorous hard work. Most of the software problems can be solved by either of two methods. One is to try a lot of permutations and combinations. The other is to first sit down and analyse the different possible solutions and then go for the most optimal one. Each has it's own positive and negative traits. The good and lazy programmers know exactly what to choose or rather what combinations to choose depending on the time and technical constraints.

Lazy programmers really hate to do repetitive stuff. So here's what they will do. Whenever there is a problem, try to find already existing solutions to that problem and solve it. If the solutions do not exist, they break the problem into many smaller problems and try to find if solutions exist for the smaller ones. Lazy programming does not mean not doing work but it means doing smart work and concentrating on stuff which will enable them to learn something new rather than repeat the same work which they already know. This helps them to concentrate on finding solutions to newer problems than going into a monotonous loop of doing that which is already done.

One example can be provided with STL in C++. Suppose we have a task of maintaining a dynamic list of entries of the employees in an organization and processing that list. A programmer who does not know about STL will start writing his own logic, probably linked list implementation. After he spends time in that, he will have to test and debug the errors from that. Still it might contain bugs. A lazy smart programmer will use STL, probably vectors or linked lists. He saves his time of implementation of linked lists by using existing code. And there will be no major bugs in it since it is provided by the ANSI standard and already tested. So he saves additional time. Now he can concentrate on processing that list and complete his work in a fraction of a time than the first programmer. This helps him to finish his work on time with good quality and provides him time to perform the tasks he enjoys.

So be a programmer but be lazy and be smart.

Best friends

2008-05-05T21:54:00.004+05:30

Last weekend as some of my friends will have known I had spent time introspecting upon the concept of best friends. The only way to get more information was to ask some friends what best friends means to them. Now you may ask why best friends when we have friends. Well, seems like one best friend is more precious than a 100 friends put together.

Now I will just put a gist of the points that seem to validate this statement.

1)Being there:
Most important thing I found was that best friends are there for each other. By being there I mean physically, mentally, emotionally or all put together. If one wants to share his life whether good or bad, best friends are always available. There is no wait for some time or wait till tomorrow. Best friends seem to have an instinct not to encroach on each other's time but at the same time they seem to know to be there for each other whenever the need for it arises. And that is what makes best friends, always ready to provide a shoulder to lean on to, always ready to listen.

2)In touch:
Best friends are always in touch with each other. Many a times best friends communicate with each other on a daily basis. As I mentioned sharing life seems a priority for them. But then I also found out that best friends might not be constantly in touch whenever boundaries like long physical distances are present. But they seem to make up for it through other means of communication and really make it count whenever they communicate.

3)Have fun:
Best friends have a lot of fun together. There is no disappointment most of the time. As I mentioned best friends seem to have an instinct on what time is favorable for them. Imagine wanting to go to a movie or a picnic and being sure that you best friend will always be ready to go with you anywhere. A best friend sees no better way to spend time than with his friend. That is so very cool :)

4)No boundaries:
This is something I think about. I heard best friends have no boundaries. By boundaries I mean age, gender, religion, etc. While many best friends share a lot of their characteristics and interests, it is also that such things are not necessary and a lot many people are best friends because they be there for each other. Even when their ideas and views differ their hearts do not.

I'm sorry if I left out some points but right now I can recall the above ones. Thanks to friend Heena for kind of encouraging me to write this post about best friends.

I love tea breaks

2008-04-28T20:00:00.002+05:30

By tea break, I mean the break that we generally have in offices. It's been almost four and a half years (and three companies) since I started working as a professional. And of the things that I remember about those companies, the first thing that comes to my mind are the tea breaks.

The first company had a hectic schedule of 12 hours per day for 6 days a week, so tea breaks were inevitable. What made it special was that we had to make our own tea using the tea bags and the tea would turn out pathetic thanks to our culinary skills :P So we would end up going to the roadside tapri (roadside tea stall in Mumbai style slang) :) Several times we even managed to take our Japanese bosses to that tapri to have adrak wali chai, at their expense of course :D

The second company was a little different. Tea would be brought twice a day on to our desks :)
But even here we would go and enjoy tea breaks in the canteen in the adjacent building.

The third company (which I am currently working in) has an excellent shelter for tea breaks in an open space which I really enjoy (even though the tea sucks) :) Sharing time with some of my closest friends surely makes going to office a less heavy burden.

Best thing about tea breaks is the bonding that it creates among the co-workers. I have met some of the most wonderful people during my work and I have known a lot about them especially during tea breaks. Whether there is some bug irritating the hell out of you or a cracking joke that cheers your heart, everything has been experienced in tea breaks.

So here's to all you tea break lovers, CHEERS to a cup of tea :)

Fair and Lovely: Once More + Height Craziness

2008-04-23T22:07:00.004+05:30

Man, this topic has become a emo-trigger for me :P Recently, there was the Pantaloons Femina Miss India. The next day on the front page of the newspaper two stores were printed. On the left was the news about the Pantaloons Femina Miss India winners and on the right side was the news about how Dark taunts to wife puts man in jail.

In the story, the man would taunt his wife repeatedly about her dark complexion which depressed her so much that she contemplated suicide. This once again showed how biased we tend to be with regards to skin color. And it is ourselves we have to blame. Always it is the affection towards the fair skin. The positive point was that the court ruled the case in favor of the woman and came down heavily on our disgusting views on fair skin.

Seems like we always like things in people which are just gifts given by God. Already mentioned fairness. Another thing I am sick and tired of hearing is the height factor. Every time there is talk about how a person should have good height. I mean what the hell :( , if a person could choose his color or height do you think he would want to be dark or short. No, but that is how the world sees a person, and it is downright irritating. Rather than taking the pain of understanding what a person has become by his own abilities, we choose the easier path of judging a person by the talents that have been handed over naturally to the person. Either it is fairness or height or something else. Where's the justice in that?

I guess things won't change and people will continue to be eggheads. Can't change that. I tend to have hope that there are at least some people who think differently. Who know what it truly means to get discriminated against and who do not discriminate. Sadly, I haven't found anyone who has this superior sense of being a thoughtful human being.

HUMSAFAR AUR TANHAI by C R D

2008-04-14T21:46:00.002+05:30

C R D has written a beautiful poem about loneliness.
http://crissdude.blogspot.com/2008/03/humsafar-aur-tanhai.html

HUMSAFAR AUR TANHAI by C R D

हमसफ़र हमें अपनी राह पर हाथों मे हाथ लेकर चलता है,
तन्हाई हमें अपनी राह खुद बनाना सिखाती है।

हमसफ़र सोच से सोच मिल लेता है,
तन्हाई हमें खुद सोचने को मजबूर करती है।

हमसफ़र की बाहों में सपने सच होते नज़र आते हैं,
तन्हाई के घेरे में हम सपने देखते ज़रूर हैं,
लेकिन हम यह भी जान लेते हैं कि वो शायद कभी सच नहीं होंगे।

हमसफ़र ज़िंदगी के हर कदम पर साथ देने की कसमें खाता हैं,
लेकिन कसमें तोडी भी जा सकती हैं।
तन्हाई कोई वादा नहीं करती,
लेकिन सबके छोड़ देने पर वही साथ देती है।

हमसफ़र साथ छोड़ता है तो हम सब कुछ खो देते हैं,
पर तन्हाई हमें छोड़ देते वक्त वह सब कुछ दे देती है,
जिनकी हम तमन्ना करते थे।

तो क्या तन्हाई ही हमारा सच्चा हमसफ़र है?

Humsafar Humein Apni Raah Par Haathon Mein Haath Lekar Chalta Hai
Tanhai Humein Apni Raah Khud Banaana Sikhati Hai

Humsafar Soch Se Soch Mila Leta Hai
Tanhai Humein Khud Sochne Ko Majboor Karti Hai

Humsafar Ke Baahon Mein Sapne Sach Hote Nazar Aate Hain
Tanhai Ke Ghere Mein Hum Sapne Dekhte Zaroor Hain,
Lekin Hum Yeh Bhi Jaan Lete Hain Ki Woh Shayad Kabhi Sach Nahin Honge

Humsafar Zindagi Ke Har Kadam Par Saath Dene Ki Kasmein Khaata Hai
Lekin Kasmein Todi Bhi Jaa Sakti Hain
Tanhai Koi Vaada Nahin Karti
Lekin Sabke Chhod Dene Par Wahi Saath Deti Hai

Humsafar Saath Chhodta Hai Toh Hum Sab Kuch Kho Dete Hain
Par Tanhai Humein Chhod Dete Waqt Woh Sab Kuch De Deti Hai
Jinki Hum Tamanna Karte The

Toh Kya Tanhai Hi Hamara Sacha Humsafar Hai?

The Temptation to drink

2008-04-05T20:50:00.006+05:30

Warning: This post might be thought of as a way of self-promotion and I guess it is.

Well, I made a trip to Goa last week and as we know drinks are freely available in this part of the country. As surprising as many people may find, I have not drunk even a glass of beer. Why, some people may ask, when I do not have any restrictions to hold back. Some reasons are:

Addiction
Loosing senses (misbehaving, drunken driving, etc)
Health problems (liver can get seriously damaged. Also other body parts if you fall somewhere)
Lack of strength (emotional, mental, physical)

Well, the reasons to why I avoid drinking are manifold but the most influencing reason for me to avoid them is the perception that drinks are for weak people. People who cannot fight their emotional, mental or physical battles turn to some form of intoxication to escape, if only for a moment, from the realities of life. Rather we should face the moments of truth in life because they are the things that make us stronger.

I try to introspect what is the reason we get tempted. The major reason I think people use alcohol is to try to find solutions to their emotional problems. Something keeps on bothering us in our mind, there is pain in the heart. There seems to be no solution on the horizon. So people drink expecting the drinks to pour over their heart and make things clearer for them. It's a destructive practice as drinking only amplified the emotional state to an extent it makes the mind numb. Any form of intoxication seems to free the mind from stress for a brief period of time. It's like handing control of your mind to a small kid as the drinking gradually increases peg by peg.

I'm not preaching for other people to stop drinking (People never listen to me anyway). It's their choice and they are free to do so. In fact, I too have tasted alcohol a few times, never liked it though. For me drinking goes against my values and if at anytime I go against my values, I guess I will start drinking.

I have just touched on one of the reasons that make me feel strongly against drinking. As I mentioned there are several more reasons I dislike about drinking. Hope to introspect on them in the future.

Till then Cheers!!! (the non-alcoholic type).

Feeling down? Don't bring others down

2008-03-24T20:50:00.006+05:30

It happens to all of us, doesn't it. Some days we are happily walking down life's road, watching to the roses bloom on both sides of the road. And then there are days, we are dragging ourselves on the same road, rocky this time and thorns to avoid on both sides. Well, it's the same road, the same flowers but our view of it had changed this time. Because we stumbled over a few rocks, we now see the road as rocky and because a few thorns pricked us, we forget the flowers.

The worst part is that when most of us feel low, we tend to (whether knowingly or unknowingly), try to bring people, especially our friends and close ones down as well. Just imagine having a bad day at office, then coming home. Getting a nice greeting from family and friends and just exploding in their faces. I've been guilty of doing that and believe me, that's not a nice way of meeting some one close to you. Because it ends up passing your bad mood onto that person especially if he/she is close to you. Most of the times, family and really cool friends will understand that you are having a really bad day and will be most comfortable listening as you blast about how you day was bad. But then it takes one nasty word, a few hasty sentences that can really put strains on a person's mood.

The best thing is to keep a control when we feel down. Sure, it is not easy to not get upset when you just missed your 7:48 local and you are jammed up in the train. But then again it is easy. When we feel low, we continuously think about it. We should realize that if we can do anything to change our situation we should. But if not, then there is no use of thinking about it and worse passing it on to our loved ones.

So the next time you come home and feel like banging a cricket bat on your boss's head, remember to postpone that till you reach office the next day and the friend in front of you is willing to take it but does not deserve it.

Indian education kills

2008-03-18T20:14:00.004+05:30

Everyone knows the Indian education system sucks when it comes to exams and the grading of students by their marks. The recent spate of suicides by students all over the country is an indication of what happens when marks are giving so much importance than the education of a student.

Parents should be blamed for putting much pressure on their children. In trying to keep up with the ever increasing competition (in scoring good marks), children lose their childhood and peace of mind. Stress is a killer disease for all ages and it has a very significant impact on the minds of children. Kids are made to run for tutions and classes the entire day. The tension just keeps on increasing from school, the 10th, 12th, so on and so forth.

We are always obsessed with marks and percentages. Parents who want their children to do well in life get stuck to making their children into doctors or engineers. They pressurize their kids to do well in school. Every child cannot score 90+ percentages. The schools also should be blamed. The kids who score well are placed on pedestals. The kids who are unsuccessful in scoring marks are made to feel inferior with red marks on their reports, disrespect, etc.

One of the ways to be adopted it to do away with the marking system. Instead of teaching them to mug, children should be educated with knowledge. Knowledge not just about physics, maths, chemistry, english or marathi. But also knowledge they can use to cope with their life when they venture out into the world. More emphasis should be placed on the development of the child in all aspects like education, sports, arts, etc.

Some level of understanding is growing among parents who have realized that education is something that can be put to use and not just mugging. Schools have started realizing the importance of the all round development of children. But that is occurring among the affluent, autonomous schools. The education provided by the government aided schools and colleges still continue to sit in the comfort of deciding student's fate by how much they can memorize and put on paper. Hopefully, the media which is helping people realize this folly, should be able to bring about at least some changes in our education system.

Eskimos and the wolves

2008-03-15T20:26:00.004+05:30

I went to church today so that I can save some morning time tomorrow. Holy week has started with Good Friday and Easter this week.

Today's sermon was short and sweet; Eskimos and the wolves.

When Eskimos would want to hunt down wolves which would kill their cattle, they would take sharp swords and apply thick coatings of fresh blood on them. Then they would place the swords into the ground pointing upwards. The wolves would get the smell of the fresh blood and get attracted to the swords. They would then start licking the swords. On enjoying the taste of the fresh blood, they would continue licking it. As the layer of blood became thin, the sharpness of the sword would increase. Gradually, the wolves tongues would get cut and start bleeding but the wolves would be so engrossed in licking the fresh blood that they would not be able to make out that they are swallowing their own blood. Eventually, they would grow weak due to loss of blood and pass out. After which the hunters would come and kill them easily.

This story was compared with what we do in our lives. People who fall into the vices like drinking, smoking, drugs, etc are compared to the wolves. In the beginning, they enjoy their addictions with the most pleasure. But in the end it leads to nothing but their death.

Late stay = Hard work?

2008-03-11T21:34:00.003+05:30

I've always been asking this question to friends about late stay and hard work. Because I've always been confused about my stand on this. Considering today's work culture especially in the IT industry, late stay has become a norm. People don't mind spending 10-16 hours in office. So does this equate to productive hours?

Maybe in other industries like those involving manual labor, working more may equate to working hard because more output will be obtained. But the IT industry works differently (by IT I mainly refer to software producing companies). Here people work their best in bursts because the main tool used is the mind and concentrating cannot be done for long stretches of time. No person can be productive continuously for 10 hours. It is in taking breaks and then concentrating for some time which produces the maximum productivity. So we have different views regarding late staying. One is that because we work in bursts, late stay is good as we can relax and work periodically instead of working under stress. This sounds good but then what happens is people tend to over stress themselves. That is why many young people are suffering from illnesses like blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, which sometime back were heard of only in old people.

Looks like it is the managers who promote late staying. They themselves stay late and expect other's to do so too. Now working late during deadlines is acceptable but when it turns into a routine something is wrong somewhere. It seems that the crazy scheduling of work is where the problems start. Companies are into competition and the best place where they can compete is reduction in the delivery time. But this decision is paid heavily by the employees in terms of mismanagement of time.

So what is the solution? Frankly, I'm still searching for answers by analyzing what people have to say about this. But the solutions are definitely there. Many countries like Germany, UK, etc have strict norms laid out when it comes to work. Do you work with utmost efficiency and go and live your life. Such norms should be enforced by the organizations like NASSCOM who have a say in the IT industry. Only then can we expect some regulation in this matter.

2008-03-08T21:13:00.002+05:30

This song is dedicated to guys/girls like me who sometimes feel low because we are not someone else.

Joey Mcintyre - Stay The Same

Don't you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
Cause there's nothing about you I would change

I think that you could be
Whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize
All the dreams you have inside
Don't be afraid
If you've got something to say
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way

Don't you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
Cause there's nothing about you I would change

Believe in yourself
Reach down inside
The love you find will set you free
Believe in yourself
You will come alive
Have faith in what you do
You'll make it through
Whoa...Hey!

Don't you ever wish you were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
Cause there's nothing about you I would change

Ooooooh yeah
You were meant to be
Oh whoa..
Whooo Love yourself..

And I hope you always stay the same
Cause there's nothing about you I would change
No there's nothing about you I would change

Where are we headed in life?

2008-03-02T20:45:00.004+05:30

When you determined what you want, you have made the most important decision of your life. You have to know what you want in order to attain it. ~ Douglas Lurtan ~

If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else. ~ Laurence J. Peter ~

Well, life is like that. A life without goals is somewhat wasting it. Just getting swayed like a leaf in the wind, having no sense of direction just causes us to fail to live the life that God has given to us. So the first thing we should have is a goal in life. Actually we should have many goals in life.

We should have at least a long term goal as to what we want to achieve say 5 to 1o years from now. We should put ourselves in place of that person that we want to become after those years. Seeing how it feels to be that person will help us to be motivated towards our goals.
For me, in about 5 to 10 years, I see myself as a successful person both at family and at work. I want to have a lovely family, take care of my parents and increase my position at work.

Also we should have short term goals. Short term goals are like the energy pills for our motivation. When we achieve success in our short term goals we feel good and motivated for moving forward towards our long term ones. Short term goals are basically milestones in achieving your long term goals.
For me my short term goals include improving myself as a human being, learn to respect and love others, keep reading to improve myself and my work, trying something different, etc.

But just setting goals will not help us achieve them. Action is what will achieve those goals for us. If our goals are from our heart, we will always be motivated towards achieving them. We should use our short term milestones to achieve our optimal best.

Sure when we try to achieve our goals, we will face obstacles. That does not mean that we should give up. Life just tells us that we should take a different path than the current one but our final destination should still be the same. Never, ever, give up on our goals and we will find true happiness.

So what are your goals? What are your milestones to achieving your happiness?

Exercise

2008-02-27T22:08:00.003+05:30

Exercise is one of those things which everyone knows will be beneficial to their health but no one is willing to put in the effort to live a healthy life. Advantages of exercising are good immune system, better body, relief from stress, longer life, etc.

I'm not an expert at exercising but I do know a few points about it gained from experience of learning some forms of exercise. Exercise means different things to different people and it should be based on the end result that people want to achieve. If you want to stay fit, regular walking, jogging, swimming, should be enough. If you want to tone muscles, weight reduction and weight training exercises are necessary. To bulk up, heavy eating and heavy weight training is required.

There are n number of exercise techniques available and it just confuses the hell out of people (it did confuse me). But I prefer to keep exercise into two basic forms keeping in mind my goal is muscle toning. Before I mention them, before any exercise an important thing is warm up to avoid any damage to the muscles or soreness. Warm up means light stretching movement of the muscles and the body before beginning heavy exercises.

1) Cardiovascular exercises:
Cardiovascular exercises are those when you perform will increase your heart rate. So exercises like brisk walking, jogging, swimming, aerobics fall into this category of exercises. They are simple exercises which anyone can do and are the fastest way to lose weight (brisk walking for around 45 minutes daily can work wonders to lose weight and it also refreshes the mind). Since they improve the heart rate, they are good for increasing endurance. Everyone can and should be doing these. Highly recommended by doctors.
I have been able to incorporate cardio by walking from the station to my house which gives me a 30 minute brisk walk.

2) Weight training:
Weight training involves strengthening the muscles of your body by providing resistance to them. This involves lifting heavy weights like dumb bells, bar bells, and all the other fancy gym equipment you can think of. By straining your muscles, you break them and when they repair they become much stronger. That is the basics of weight training.
I don't have fancy equipment nor the time to go to a gym, so for me weight training involves push ups, crunches and bicep curls.

Any form of exercise is better than nothing. While I have mentioned these exercises, people who don't have time (which I can't see why) should atleast try simple stuff like taking the stairs instead of lifts, walking short distances instead of taking bikes and cars or participating in sporting activities.

This is what I can share about exercising. I too am a learner and hope to improve as I go. I did not mention another aspect of fitness which is equally important as exercising and that is the diet we follow. Maybe in another post.

Best way to communicate

2008-02-27T21:50:00.003+05:30

A friend of mine mentioned that she feels the best way to communicate with friends is through a phone call. And that internet communication, mainly text chat was way too manipulative as per her experience (I guess some friend might have pissed her off on the internet by being manipulative. Well, then he/she shouldn't be a friend in the first place) . As usual, I dislike generalization of habits to people because each and every person is different and we cannot expect everyone to be the same.

I feel every mode of communication, be it direct face to face, on the telephone or through the internet has its own purpose. Of course, still the best form of communication is a straight face to face and heart to heart talk. But then what happens when distance separates the people? Telephone and the internet serve this purpose of long distance communication. Telephone has the advantage that we can still hear the tonality of the voice of a person which internet chat fails to do (of course, yahoo, gtalk and skype can be used to talk on the internet as well). When telephone calls become costly, that is inter continent calls, then the internet is the best medium of communication.

Frankly, it was orkut that helped me gain contact with many of my friends whom I would not have heard from (bless the person who introduced me to it). And yes to improve our relationships, we need to communicate as much as possible either directly or through the phone. But the important thing is we need to keep in touch even if it is passively through the internet (once again, yahoo, gtalk and skype are closing the gap between calls and chat).

And one more lesson: If a person is manipulative, he/she will be the same whether talking directly, through the phone or the internet. So instead of blaming the internet, maybe we should spend time building good friendships using whatever way is possible.

IPL: What does it hold for Indian sports future?

2008-02-23T19:02:00.003+05:30

IPL (Indian Premier League) had the auctioning of its players recently. And from what can be seen a huge amount of money has been spent by industrialists on bidding for players on their team. The IPL will kick off in April with a total of 59 twenty20 matches. More information can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_Premier_League
It is basically trying to create a sporting event somewhat on the lines of Premier Leagues that are seen in soccer or baseball. As in players play for clubs and clubs are involved in bidding for players they want.

So how will the IPL change the way cricket is played in India as well as the world?

Only time will shed some light on this question. But from what was seen in the twenty20 world cup, this version of cricket does generate a lot of appeal because of its fast entertainment providing way. No more waiting for days or hours to watch the outcome of the match. Like in popular sports like soccer or tennis, less boring moments can be expected by the spectators. So basically I feel that in terms of the entertainment factor, the IPL will succeed in providing a lot of cricketing entertainment to spectators. But then what happens to the other forms of the game i.e One day cricket and Test matches. Well, from what has been seen since the introduction of twenty20 is that Test matches are still popular especially among the purists and they still generate interest among the viewers. It seems like One day cricket is the one which might suffer loss of interest because people do find twenty20 better in terms of entertainment that the One dayers. Also there is the issue that can good twenty20 players play well in One days and Tests? Well, I think twenty20 players can do pretty well in One days but Test matches require real skill and the instinct of a twenty20 player will make him unsuitable for the longer version of the game. On the positive side, some guys might emerge who are kind of allrounders who can play all versions of cricket with ease and that will be exciting.

A thought has to be given to the bowlers who will bowl in twenty20 matches. Bowlers will have to have real heart to participate in these matches as batsmen will surely score a lot of runs from them on most days. So while the number of wickets they take will increase, their run rate will increase as well.

Some purists have shown displeasure with the IPL and it's bidding because it seems like commercialization of cricket. Well, cricket was commercialized since a long time and the spirit of cricket hardly matters nowadays. It can only be found in Test matches if any. As previously stated, twenty20 and IPL are for entertainment sports. But there is also a thought provoking side to this. As some people have mentioned time and again why is it that only cricket generates such revenue. If something similar would be done for other sports (hockey, football, etc), we would be having better teams, better players and better interest in those sports by now. Well, I feel the reason for that is a cycle. Cricket seems like the only sport in which India does show some skill and winning ability. Other sports (hockey is an on/off thing, not like it used to be and don't even talk about football) can compete with cricket only if the produce some great wins backed up by good promotion. But then promoting other sports is what is lacking. Hoping someday this might change. Personally, even I have more interest in cricket that in other sports (hoping to change this).

So in short, what IPL will do is it will strengthen people's interest in cricket (as twenty20 world cup did when India was knocked out of the ICC World Cup). Sure players are now more like pieces of talent to be sold or bought but then considering how it has worked for soccer hopefully the same happens for cricket.

So, let's wait for IPL to begin and enjoy the show.

The most beautiful woman in the world

2008-02-16T21:40:00.004+05:30

We had this story in our English textbooks in 4th or 5th standard with the title "My mother is the most beautiful woman in the world". It was about a Russian boy and his mother who was ugly looks wise but her love for her son made her the most beautiful woman in the world in her son's eyes. I don't remember the full story though. But I do remember another one.

There is this widowed mother and her child who are living in poverty. The mother sacrifices her life and working hard educates her son and brings him up with the most love and care. Every need of the son she tries to fulfil. The son grows up and becomes a man. He falls in love with a beautiful girl and they get married. Now unfortunately the mother due to old age and working hard becomes sick. Her son knows the sacrifice his mother has done for him and takes care of her. His love for his mother makes his wife jealous. So she tells him that if he loves her then to kill his mother and bring her heart to her. The husband does not want to lose his love so he reluctantly agrees to do it. He manages to kill his mother and puts her heart in a bag. As he is walking home, he stumbles and falls and the heart pops out of the bag. At once his mother's heart cries, "Son, are you ok? Did you get hurt?"

Well the moral of that story is a mother's love for her children is unending.

And truly when we look at our own mothers, don't we know that it is true? Personally, I feel my mother is a reincarnation of superwoman or something. The amount of work she does at home along with tending to the old members of the house as well as the young and also being the society secretary makes her more than a superwoman. We tend to forget the amount of love that mothers have for their children. When we have our life, we ignore them, forgetting what sacrifices they have done for us. No one wants an old person in their house as it is too much of a burden. How fickle and selfish we humans can be? Only wanting the good things of love but not ready to sacrifice for that same love?

So I pray to God that whatever the situation may be, please give me the strength so that I can provide to my mother at least some measure of the love that she has given to me.

Books: Our best friends

2008-02-14T22:23:00.005+05:30

I love reading books. Right now I am reading "The Magic of Thinking Big" by David Schwartz. Fiction, non-fiction, technical, any will do. It is true that books are our best friends. We laugh with them, learn from them, sometimes even shed a tear with them.

The best thing about books is that we can learn from the author's experience. What takes a person decades to learn has been put in an understandable way into books. It is thanks to such wonderful gifts of learning that we can enrich and improve our lives.

There are good books and bad ones. Picking out the good ones is an important task and only true book lovers master that skill. Also knowing the treasure troves of books is very useful especially in a city like Mumbai which discourages reading. I would love to know about the small book shops especially down town which offer some really good bargains on really good books. There are plenty of book chain stores in the city but they all keep the usual stuff: best sellers and all.

And first hand books are out of my budget as for many of the city's book lovers. So the few options that we have is either to purchase pirated books available at railway stations or the city streets (Just bought The Greatness Guide - Robin Sharma). Or go to some book store with second hand books. Or go to CST and try to find some goodies in the piles that are stacked on the footpaths. Another option if you cannot travel easily is to find a local raddi wala who stacks books (most are very impolite and don't be optimistic about bargains). One other option which I find is great for people who read books is to join a library. I think the good ones are all downtown. I hear the British Council Library is good. It has a vast range of books in many diverse subjects. Also it has an online library access provided with membership. So that is pretty cool.

Hoping we read lots and lots of good books this year.

Visit my book shelf at http://www.shelfari.com/rodrigueskevin/shelf

What is the most important thing in life?

2008-02-08T21:32:00.000+05:30

Spending a few days in the hospital taking care of a loved one made me think about this. What is the most important thing in life. Money, career, success? What matters? Well the truth is only love matters. Money, fame, career, everything is just to give some direction to our lives. But the one thing that defines human life is love. We would not be here were it not the love of our parents. Their love cannot be re payed even with our lives. Having some one to love you for who you are is the best achievement a human being can have. Not just farcical love but love that is unconditional. Love that does not only see the strengths of the person but also accepts the weaknesses.

And love is what matters in the end. At the end of our lives, it will not be the money, fame, success that will matter. But how many people loved you and will miss you that is what matters. To love and be loved is what makes life successful.

Our Progress: Good or Bad

2008-01-17T22:05:00.000+05:30

I travel by trains everyday. Today it got me thinking about what India would be like without this tremendous medium of transportation. I don't know much about the period when the British ruled India but I thank them for providing education, judiciary, transportation and technology to us. We can't imagine what our country would be like without this progress.
But it also holds a counter view. What if the British had never ruled over India. We might have become independent of the world. Right now we all follow the British legacy, be it the education system, the transportation or the judiciary. Even our economy has major contributions from foreign countries mainly due to offshore work provided due to our ease with the English language. Maybe we would be like Japan or China, independent and sustaining our own economy. One wonders.

Progress now seems to be coming at a snails pace in India. Sure we have a booming economy to talk about. But that seems only in the urban areas. Rural areas have always been ignored. Only the progress of the people of the country can result in the progress of the country. Also we are too selfish to consider of the progress of the country. I don't mean about things like working for your country not for a foreign country and all that stuff. Working depends on an individual and if he wants to earn money it is in his right to do so. But one of the things that I mean is the cleanliness. We Indians keep our houses spic and span, but empty the garbage on the streets. Education and progress does not have meaning until and unless it is utilized. Somehow we have lost civic sense along the way. Corruption is the major force which is eating away at the progress of the country. In fact, it is considered as a norm in most of the government offices.

Frankly, I don't see any solutions for all these problems. India seems to be trying to become a country that could have been but just isn't. Well, too bad Adbul Kalam. Your vision 2020 just doesn't seem possible.

Men of honor

2008-01-12T20:54:00.000+05:30

This post could be considered as an appeal maybe. It is with reference to the atrocities against women especially in the city and the country, whether it be the Juhu molestation case, rape of tourists in the country, child molestation, female infanticide or eve teasing.

Journalists and women groups seem to generalize this disgusting behavior with all the men of the country. Any article about such incidents talk about men being unable to control their instincts. The articles seem to reflect that all men are evil monsters incapable of respecting women.

I would like to remind them that men of honor still exist. There still are men who respect women. In the Juhu case, a lot of people who helped the women were men. Yes, there are also men who are perverts. Especially seen eve teasing in trains and buses. For them women are just objects. Many of them do seem to come from parts of the country where women are suppressed. So seeing women participating shoulder to shoulder with men is somewhat unacceptable to them. Unfortunately nothing much can be done against such people.

So an appeal again. Men with values do exist. So next time we generalize, please give a thought to the good guys as well.

If cold is so common why is there no cure?

2008-01-12T19:38:00.000+05:30

I've been down with the common cold for about a week now. All the symptoms, sneezing, coughing, body ache, head ache, even fever. So if cold is so common that many of us get sick from it every time the temperature changes, why is there no perfect cure?

The reason is that the cold virus mutates every time. It means that if we create a cure for it one time. The next strain of virus will be immune to it. Nature is so interesting that it has given resistance to every living being on this planet. It is like we get inoculated against viruses like polio, hepatitis and stuff, in which we actually allow our body to be attacked by a small dose of them. The common cold virus is smart enough to mutate.

So how to protect ourselves from the common cold? As they say prevention is better than cure. It may sound stupid to receive advice from a guy who throws caution to the wind in such matters but best way is to restrict cold water intake and to drink purified water. And even after this if we get a cold, as we will, the best way is to expect it to remain for a week. So get your handkerchiefs and tissue papers out. Rest and chicken soup can help a lot. Chicken soup contains a mucus-thinning amino acid (got that from the internet :D). Nasal decongestants can be used to get relief from a blocked nose (like I am having right now).

Oh, I forgot there is another way to get relief from the common cold. Share it with your enemies (or friends) with a handshake ;P

Justice for killing

2007-12-28T22:36:00.000+05:30

Today I was discussing what type of punishment should be meted out to people who kill other people.

Basically people think of two types of punishments for killers. Either life imprisonment or death.

My view is that if the death is due to an accident or any unavoidable and unfortunate event then the punishment should not amount to death. But people who kill for money, mental imbalance or any other reason purely to satisfy their needs should be given death. No other punishment will do justice to the killed than death to the killer.

Some people are proponents of life imprisonment hoping that the killer gets reformed. Jail will just harden a criminal in most cases. Such beings cannot be called as human. They are worse than animals. People who think that life imprisonment is justice should consider if they would think the same way if it happened to them or someone close to them.

Bottom line: Death to remorseless, cold hearted killers.

Prayer: A connection to God

2007-12-19T22:56:00.001+05:30

I must inform you that I pray very few times and I need to increase my prayer time. Just wanted to post my thoughts on what prayer is about. We take any religion, there is prayer. Whether it is Hindus, Muslims, Christians, etc. All religions provide prayer as a means of communicating with God. Prayer is supposed to be the divine link between mortals and God.

But then start some problems. One is that people perceive prayer synonymous with granting of our wishes. So most prayers are made asking for this or for that. Mainly materialistic things. And when not obtained, there is discouragement which shows how hollow our praying was. Even I would shamefully suffer from the same situation. Also once we pray too often, especially prayers provided by so called priests, pundits, maulvis and so on, we forget the real meaning of prayer. Prayer just turns out to be a recitation of some memorized words which don't come from the heart but only from the mouth.

But prayer is much more than that. It is the path to our peace of mind. Prayer has been provided to us to relieve us from the stress that life throws at us. After a stressful day, just closing our eyes and talking to God (which is prayer), just mentioning our troubles to Him seems to bring extreme peace to our minds. That is what prayer is supposed to do.

So the next time you are stressed and go to a temple, mosque or church and by habit just tend to recite your prayers like a parrot, just pause for a minute and talk to God like to a friend. You will feel much, much better.

Contentment - happiness with one's situation in life

2007-12-14T22:20:00.001+05:30

I was in the discussion with friends after lunch today and this topics seems to just come and go once too often. So I thought to write about it. The thought about being content with our life.

The first job that I had i.e when I could be considered an SET payed very little money, the work hours were 12 hours compulsory and life was tough. But the work helped me to learn a lot about being an actual programmer. Never in my later jobs have I learned as much and as fast as I had back then. But people who join large organizations with a hefty pay packet do not seem to be content with their job always comparing it with others. Something my mother says is quite true. Only when we grow from the ground level do we realize what we have achieved in life.

This discontentment branches out into all aspects of our life. We crib about our job, about our finances, about our love life. We complain about our looks, about not being smart enough and this and that. We always try to compare ourselves against other people and are never satisfied. Now I don't intend to tell that we should not have ambition. Of course we should always strive to improve ourselves. That is what life is about. But then we should also spend the time to appreciate the things we have in our life and avoid taking them for granted. True happiness can be found not on the outside but inside ourselves and that is when we are content with what we have.

The next time we feel dissatisfied with ourselves let us try and remember the things we have that many people can only dream to have in their lives.

I, me and myself

2007-12-12T21:47:00.001+05:30

It's amazing how much we humans tend to thing about ourselves. It's something called ego or our self.

From the moment we wake up, till the time we go to bed, we are constantly thinking about ourselves. Studies suggest we concentrate on ourselves more than 95% the time. And the remaining time we concentrate on things like relationships which indirectly is again concentrating on our own selves.

That is what makes us humans selfish. If we would spend just a few minutes everyday getting interested in other people, we would know how beautiful and interesting the lives of people can be. We would find many interesting things about people. If we would just try to find out what makes a person as he/she is instead of judging a person, it would be much more beneficial for us.

Religion = Blind Faith?

2007-12-10T23:03:00.000+05:30

I am one of those guys who was very religious at one time but am a moderate now. By religious, I mean accepting whatever is mentioned whether in the holy books or by a religious leader or by any authority on religion. But they realization struck one day that today's religion equals blind faith.

Blindly following what is mentioned in the books by mortal beings like us is an insult to God and his wisdom. God created us with intelligence. He didn't want us to be like animals guided by a stick. He gave us intelligence to think on our own. To use our intelligence and quest for knowledge to find the true meaning of God.

It was extremism in religion that puts me off about it. The world seems to suffer everyday because of religion: either directly or indirectly. It is when people take religion to extreme heights. Consider the terrorists who can kill others and themselves just to justify their religious misinterpretations. Consider the religions in India which cause more trouble with the minority status and stuff which instead of making a person a citizen of the country just ends up alienating people into various communities. Consider the destruction of temples, mosques and the mayhem that follows it whether it is for a good cause like development or a bad one like the Babri masjid demolition. Consider the Ram Sethu stuff which was used as a tool by the politicians.

My view is that a human cannot exist without God's guidance. But being spiritual and understanding one's purpose and meaning in this world is much better than indulging in blind adherence to practices, most of which harm others. God has given us a beautiful mind to understand him. Let's use it to learn how God works his magic through this beautiful world.

Money, money, more money

2007-12-05T22:41:00.000+05:30

I was disgusted reading about dowry deaths in the newspaper http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1137097 . Recently there have been several cases of dowry related harassment or death. The disgusting part is that the people who are involved in this act are not rustic but well educated middle class people (one is an employee with Infosys and in the US, another has a family with a Indian navy background).

It shows that even though progress has been achieved on the economic front, our values still reflect a greed for money, power and status. Values are what define a human being. Not money, not looks, nor power, but the core of the human being.

What is most appalling is that many Indian families still find dowry acceptable, whether it is in giving or receiving it. It is difficult to understand how a family can send their daughter into a greedy, money minded family. People who base their lives on greed for money can never be happy, nor can they make others happy. Quite the contrary, money does seem to be the cause of all their problems.

This evil can only be stopped if society changes it's outlook towards dowry. Frankly, much changes should not be expected as the dowry trend is seen as increasing even as education increases. It is the women who should oppose handing their lives over to life-ruining jerks.

Unfairness in fairness

2007-11-30T22:50:00.000+05:30

We Indians tend to have a morbid obsession of people with good looks and a fair skin. I was discussing this topic with friends and this always kind of feels like one of life's unjust moments.

One of my friends put a good example: Consider two chicks approaching. One with a dark complexion and one fair (assuming both are decent looking). The tendency with most of the people is to always give more importance to the fair looking person. The dark person almost always gets ignored.

What it means is that the dark people are always at a disadvantage when it comes to matters of attraction. The reason being a natural tendency of people to judge a person by his/her looks and skin color. Fairness cream companies laugh all the way to the bank after finding gullible people like us.

When there is a search for a marriage proposal, what do people first look at? Always the looks, always the skin. Then there is money, status, family background, etc. I have always heard this from old people whenever there is a marriage, "chedu kashe asaa? sobit asaa gi? gore asaa gi?" (konkani, translated to english, How is the girl? Is she beautiful? Is she fair?).

This surely causes some blood boiling situations for me but I have accepted the inevitable. People say that God has gifted some people beauty so we should appreciate it. Sure, beauty is to be appreciated. But restricting our views on beauty to good looks and skin color just shows how shallow human nature can be. Beauty appears in several forms, not just skin color and looks. But it is much easier to do that than appreciate the real beauty of a person because that takes a little more work.

Now if someone admires a girl because of her beauty, fairness, even I do it (artificially though) because I guess that's the way the world rotates.

So how fair and lovely are you?

2007-11-26T22:17:00.000+05:30

Recently, I watched some part of the movie Traffic Signal. In one scene, there is a beggar kid who goes to the chemist to purchase a fairness cream. While I don't remember the conversation perfectly, it somewhat goes like this:
Chemist: "Chal nikal barah rupaye".
Kid (giving the money in coins): "Yeh cream kaam karega na".
Chemist: "Kiske liye le raha hai".
Kid: "Apne liye".
Chemist (looking at the extremely dark complexion of the kid): "He he he he".

Now, I didn't want to bore you with that dialogue but here is my point. I'm very annoyed with Sharukh Khan. Yesterday I saw an advertisment on television featuring Sharukh Khan endorse a fairness cream for men. Not we all know the obsession we Indians have with a fair skin and a pretty face. But when role models like Sharukh endorse such products which all educated people know is a sham, it just pisses me off.

I guess beauty is skin deep but our views are even more shallow.

Money isn't everthing... or is it?

2007-11-25T14:09:00.000+05:30

This thought about money creeps up several times in the mind. Should life be based on money? I mean if we have money we can have many things in life, isn't it? But then the thought comes to the mind, is getting a lot of money at the cost of our lives really worth it. A quote from the bible says, "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but suffers the loss of his soul?"

Earning money is not at all bad because money is what enables us to live our lives and help other people as well. But greed is what is bad. Not knowing how much money is enough is a problem. Once people get on to the path of making money most of us don't seem to know when to stop. Consider the richest people in the world, the people who's names figure in the top list of millionaires in the world. These people own so much money that they can sustain the economy of several under developed countries many times over. Why be satisfied with 1 million when we can try for 100 seems to be the thought of people.

The important thing is to have a balance somewhere. There seem to be some inspirational people who have achieved a balance and money is just a means for them to achieve their potential of leading a good life. People like Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, Shahrukh Khan, are the ones who even though they are rich they know the true values of life. They seem to be leading a good life especially considering their family life, their honesty and hard work.

Personally, while I would not mind earning millions :P, I would be satisfied if I could provide for my family, pay my bills, and save a little for my geriatic years.

Time is Relative

2007-11-21T21:20:00.001+05:30

Now I am not going to explain some theory of Einstein called The Theory of Relativity. No. Frankly I don't even know what it means. But there is one quote which Einstein had stated in one of his speeches which often comes in my mind. It goes like this,

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.”

That is so true isn't it. Now I have burnt my hand while cooking food so I can pretty much imagine what putting a hand on a hot stove for a minute will feel like. Seldom had the opportunity to sit with a pretty girl for an hour but I think I can pretty much get what wise old Einstein was trying to say through that quote.

The same principle is true in case of our work. When we have work and we are interested in doing that work then no matter how much time we spend working, time just seems to run short and then we don't even mind the late stays because time becomes relatively "less" for us when doing an interesting job. But if we don't have work or we find our work boring or dull, then every passing hour looks and feels like eternity.

So Einstein's quote can really help us in our life. We should always try to do the work which we enjoy the most because then work becomes fun. Even if we don't get to do the job we are interested in, we can do another thing. As they say, "we are what our thoughts make us". So what ever our job, we can try and make it interesting. Say we have a job of issuing tickets at a railway station and we feel bored to do it. We just have to make it interesting. Maybe one way would be to compete with the other ticket issuers as to who can issue the most tickets in a particular time. That will make the job somewhat interesting.

Time is relative. We spend a large part of our time at work. So let's use this theory and make our work time not as our hand on the stove but as sitting with a pretty girl.

Life is cricket

2007-11-19T22:23:00.000+05:30

A thought came into my mind today how life seems so much like cricket whether we consider it from the viewpoint of a batsman, bowler or a fielder.

The batsman has to face every delivery just as we have to face every day in our lives. Every delivery has to be played on its merit. The bowler has to deliver his quota of overs. Every ball may be different. Some may be poor balls, some good. Just as we have to live every day on it's merit, not worrying about the past or the future.

Also the batsman has a lot of protection: helmet, shin guards, gloves, etc. The bowler has the fielders as his protection. He has the wicketkeeper who enables him to bowl to full potential. Those are like the people who help us in our difficulties in life. Also like our spiritual side which acts as a protection for the troubles that we face in life. They encourage us to do our best and trust us to live to our full potential.

And then there are the spectators. They are like our friends who encourage us to keep on achieving our best. They are ones who empathize with us, grow angry or sad with us.

What we can learn from this analogy of life and cricket is that no matter what happens or how tense the situation is, the only way to get the best out of a match or out of life is to do one thing:
Enjoy the game. Love every moment of it.

Be concerned about life but not worried

2007-11-18T20:31:00.000+05:30

We worry a lot in life about many things like family, friends, relationships, work, health, wealth, etc. Oh, our lives are full of worries aren't they :)

I learned that we should be concerned about life but not worried about it. I know it's easy to say but hard to do when the time comes. But it can and should be done for our peace of mind and happiness.

I pray to God to have the wisdom to do the following whenever I get worried with a problem:
1) Calmly understand what the problem is and accept the worst case.
2) Analyze what caused the problem so that next time I don't repeat it.
3) Try to find out all the possible solutions to the problem.
4) Then see which solution is the best answer for me.
5) Once I get the solution, put it in practice without bothering about the consequences.

So let's work out the difference between concern and worry with an example:

Say I have just written one of the tough engineering exam paper. In case I was worried as I usually was I would do the following:
I would keep worrying about what would happen. What would happen if I failed? What would I tell my parents? What about my reputation?
That is what being worried means. We constantly think about a thing going in a loop in our head.

Being concerned means I would follow the above steps:
1) Understand that I did my best but the paper was tough and I might fail.
2) See where I made mistakes and improve my technique of studying for more efficiency.
3) The solutions to the problem would be: to reappear for paper the next time or to use illegal means.
4) The best solution for me would be to reappear for the paper the next time.
5) So I would put the worries out of my mind and calmly wait for the results without selling my text books to my juniors :)

So the next time life throws us one of those curve balls, let us not keep on swirling our eyes with the ball. But calmly wait for the ball to reach within our grasp and hammer the hell out of it as best as we can.

Cleanliness drive starts in Mumbai

2007-11-16T21:57:00.000+05:30

So from today a cleanliness drive has started in Mumbai. Now this has happened many times before also and then after a few days the enthusiasm has fizzled out. So what new can we expect this time around. Well, looks like this time marshals have been appointed to fine people and make people do community service. This could be excellent if done with proper considerations.

First of all spitting should be seriously dealt with. I don't know what is the fascination of people to spit on the streets. It is really very disgusting. Then there is the problem of garbage dumping. Before fining people with garbage dumping, better garbage dumping facilities should be provided by the authorities. Part of it is providing lots of garbage cans in public places like bus stops, train stations, etc. Also in case of urinating in public, better toilets should be provided before the fining starts.

It's not that Mumbai is not clean. South Mumbai is one of the cleanest places around. Dadar and surrounding areas as pretty clean as well. It's the areas which house most of lower middle class and poor people that lack basic amenities where filthiness is widespread. Those areas ought to be tackled on a large scale. For that the people who are enforcers should do their work diligently and without corruption. While this seems like too much hope, if at least 10% of success can be achieved, Mumbai will be much cleaner as a whole than as it is today.

Flouting traffic laws comes naturally to us

2007-11-15T20:52:00.000+05:30

An article in the Times today stating motorcyclists riding without helmets. Frankly, the flouting of traffic rules comes right from the acquisition of the driving license. It's so easy to get a driving license. Just join any of the driving schools, pay the amount, learn some basic driving and voila you have a driving license for yourself. No testing of your driving skills, vision, etc by the traffic authorities. Compare this to the stringent methods followed by developed nations to provide a driving license.
Nowadays even minors seem to drive motorbikes. Even though the driving skills of the majority is pathetic. Not to mention, the movies like Dhoom just seem to provide a very bad impression on these jerks and they seem the road as a racing track. Helmet wearing is considered a joke. I mean who wants to take the pain of wearing a helmet. And the pillion rider wearing a helmet is supposedly considered blasphemy.
And no one wants to wait for traffic signals to change to green. The one near my house seems like a joke with no cars waiting for the signal to turn green. Autorickshaws and bikers are the major culprits. Also the zebra crossings were supposedly for people to cross the road on but cars seem to park right onto it.
Only by having strict norms laid and actually implemented can this problem be solved. The traffic police seems to be doing a great job recently of catching offenders of drunk driving and using mobiles while driving. I hope they continue their good work and make Mumbai as accident free as possible.

Can we expect more benefits from the GSM providers?

2007-11-13T21:25:00.000+05:30

Well, the latest news is that the government has initiated a plan to allow mobile service subscribers to switch from any service provider to another and keep his existing mobile number. Also if the subscriber moves from one city to another he can still keep the same number. This plan is about to be implemented in Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata and Chennai soon. It will surely increase the competition among the GSM providers as now subscribers will readily switch providers depending on the schemes and services provided by them. This plan seems to have upset the GSM providers for this reason and they are putting the blame on Reliance which seems to be entering into the GSM arena.
I think if this plan is implemented it will be provide a great choice for the people to try out various service providers and use the one best for them. And if Reliance is entering the GSM market, they will surely bring some innovative changes at least in the pricing and user services like broadband, web browsing, etc. Right now the GSM providers seem to kind of have a monopoly as far as setting standards for services and quality goes. That ought to change once Reliance enters and hopefully brings some changes in the existing GSM arena.

Learn to be positive

2007-11-10T21:31:00.000+05:30

"Two people looked out of the prison bars,
One saw the mud, the other saw the stars."

Many times in life we encounter what seems to us as good or bad events. The situation is actually neutral but it is what we think of it that makes it good or bad. The positive or negative thinking is something which people call a positive or a negative attitude. And I am lucky since my blood group is B+ve, so I at least have a positive attitude in my blood :D

When we face a bad situation, we often blame the entire world. We try to change the world which is an impossible task. Instead we just have to change our view of the world and we can convert our disadvantages into advantages. Take for example the situation where my computer got trashed. I was feeling pretty bad about it. Blaming the computer, blaming lack of good repair people and even blaming myself. But then when I thought about it I felt that it wasn't that bad. It gave me an opportunity to know what all things go into a computer. What problems can occur and how to know about them. By courtesy of this event, I was able to meet nice repair people. Also I had been neglecting using the laptop which I had. It allowed my to be more considerate to my laptop.
While my computer and internet were not working, I managed to read more than usual. Also reflect more upon life and the things which hold value in life.

So we need to remember that the next time some event happens in our life and we start feeling like we are down in the dumps, let us not get upset by the situation.
1) Remember that the event is past and we cannot change it.
2) Think about the event. But instead of worrying, try and see how we can learn from the event.

Tribute to the Nice Guys

2007-11-10T11:42:00.000+05:30

I was using StumbleUpon and stumbled upon this article. I found so many things matching that I could not resist posting it. Once again it's not my original but many of the things written in it do match with my thoughts about that topic cause I too am one of the "nice guys".

The link at http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

Criticism

2007-11-06T22:14:00.000+05:30

Isn't criticism easy for us? We criticize a lot of things everyday. From people to things. It's true that the value of things gets degraded when it is close to us. Only when we lose things that we come to know how valuable they are. Take for instance a simple example as the food that we eat.

There is a story about it: Once there was a lady and her daughter who were farmers. They were poor and could only afford some soup. So one morning as the lady gave her daughter soup, she criticized that the soup was bland and it did not have taste and she did not eat it. Then the mother and daughter worked hard in the fields and returned at night. The mother gave the daughter some soup. The daughter ate it with taste and said that it was the tastiest soup ever tasted. The mother exclaimed that it was the same soup that she had given in the morning.

That is a lesson for us. We don't stop criticizing anything. The salt is more, the oil is more and this and that. But when we were in China, we missed such food and I am sure if the same food were offered to us there, we would find it one of the most tasty meals. Sure sometimes food will not be up to the mark (and other things in life also). We will not get the things as we expect them. But let us try and be more patient to accept them instead of worrying about it. Enjoying what we have right now is the surest way to contentment.

Same goes in the case of people as well. We tend to criticize people not trying to consider their point of view as well. There is a very good quote stating that we should never judge a person till we have walked two weeks in their shoes. Means if we have the urge to criticize a person, let us think as to why that person is as he/she is. Maybe if we were in a similar environment, we would be the same. We should never try and judge people as per our point of view. Trying to sympathize with the person will broaden our views of life and make us more patient to accept life even in difficult situations.

So next time we feel like criticizing anything, let us not be hasty. Let us use our brains a little and be forgiving and patient enough.

Thank You

2007-11-04T20:32:00.000+05:30

Thank you for my parents, they are most loving and caring
Thank you for my sister, she is like none other
Thank you for my family and friends, they help me through life
Thank you for my eyes, they help me see beautiful things
Thank you for my body and mind, helping me to live my life
Thank you for my pets, they help me respect and love life
Thank you for the job that I have, lucky to work for something I enjoy
And lastly, thank you God for my life,
for it is the most wonderful gift you have given me.

Sermon: Jesus and Zacchaeus the tax collector

2007-11-04T10:15:00.000+05:30

Sermon time again as it's Sunday today. Today was told the story of Jesus and Zacchaeus the tax collector.

Now during those days, the tax collecter dudes worked for the Romans and collected tax from the people. They would get a profit on the amount of tax they collected from them. So the tax collectors were rich people but they were despised by the public because they became rich by fleecing money from the public. Zacchaeus was such a tax collector. He was hated by the people because he collected lots of tax from them and grew rich on other people's money.

One day Jesus visited the town where Zacchaeus lived. There was a lot of crowd to see Jesus and invite him to their houses. Zacchaeus too wanted to see Jesus. So he went out in the crowd. But since he was of short stature he could not see Jesus. And he did not want to go ahead of the crowd because he knew people did not like him because he was a tax collector. So he climbs a tree so that he can get a view of Jesus. Now in those days only children or slaves climbed trees. But Zacchaeus inspite of being a rich man decided to climb the tree to get to see Jesus. That was the sign of faith he had in God. Jesus managed to see him on the tree and even though he saw him for the first time, Jesus called out to Zacchaeus by his name and told him that he will be staying at his house that day. The other people were upset because they considered Zacchaeus a sinner and did not want Jesus to stay in his house. But Jesus had a view that a healthy man does not need medicine, it is the sick person who needs it. So Jesus goes to stay in Zacchaeus' house. There he does not mention to Zacchaeus to become a good person or to do good deeds or anything. He just stays with him. Zacchaeus himself says that he will give half of his wealth to the poor and if he has cheated anyone he will pay him four times of that. Jesus says to Zacchaeus that his faith has healed him.

Well, the moral of the story is that God is very patient when people do any wrong things. He does not order people to do as He wants but waits so that they understand and become good. And that it is never too late for a person to change or improve into a good human being.

IT Industry sins

2007-11-01T21:22:00.000+05:30

Yeah, so the Indian IT industry is doing well. Most of them provide services to clients especially overseas clients. What they call outsourcing. Someday, the cost factor in which India has an advantage will be lost. Then the same thing will happen that happened after the dotcom bubble burst. Companies will have to cut costs and definitely employment will get hit. Indian IT companies have to start moving towards end to end solutions rather than just providing services.

Companies, especially the larger ones are recruiting fresh engineers from all parts of the country regardless of whether they can provide work or not. These recruits if lucky manage to get in projects or the company doesn't mind keeping people on bench. This is the trend for most of the companies which is a very sick trend. Personally, if I owned a company, I'd rather have 100 experts and 25 freshers than 1000 freshers and 50 experts. But that is what is happening. People who lack experience are not guided by mentoring which is a must to produce quality engineers. Imagine a fresher civil engineer being asked to build a bridge. Would anyone do that? But in the software field, that is what is being done. Instead freshers should be placed in an assistance mode till they become mature enough. Best solution: mentoring but whose listening?

Then there is the issue of services. Well, will we only be a service oriented industry. Depending for much of our revenue on foreign clients who see us nothing more than cost saving machines. The key is to balance it with providing end to end solutions. We need to be independent at least so that we don't land in trouble because of our dependence.

And finally the issue of employee health. Most of the companies have set a trend which encourages people who work late and spoil their and others health. While working overtime is an individuals choice, it seems that companies encourage it for their benefit. Atrocious project estimates seem to have become the key in getting projects. That's why the current generation is facing all types of illnesses like stress, hypertension, back problems, etc at such an age when their fathers and mothers are healthier than them. Sure work is important and IT work is a lot challenging but somewhere we need to draw the line. Right now there seems to be no chalk.

People don't believe me

2007-11-01T20:54:00.000+05:30

Today I get one more reason to tell people don't believe things I tell them. It's raining like hell today. And it's November with just a week to go for Diwali. But still people don't believe me when I tell them that the seasons have changed. I could never imagine rainfall on my birthday about 10-15 years back. But now it happens. And I am sure I remember my birthdays well. But people don't listen.

Having a mission statement in life

2007-10-28T19:13:00.000+05:30

We should all have a mission statement in life. Because when we write down a mission statement, we know what we want from life, we know our purpose and we can try and achieve happiness by getting what we want out of life.

Actually we all have a mission statement but it remains in a fuzzy part of our mind. Bringing it out in the open clears what are the things that we want from life. So that at the end of our life we can be happy of doing the things we wanted to do.

We are confused most of the times what we want from life. We trudge along everyday with uncertain what to do in the future. Best way to know what we want to do is to think that if we were to die in say 6 months, what would be the things we would want to do so that when we die we go with happiness and contentment in our heart. The things that we want to do would be our mission statement.

I found this excellent site which makes it easy to find what our mission statement in life is. I urge you to please try it because your goals of life will get clear by this. It just takes around 4 minutes of your time.
http://www.franklincovey.com/fc/library_and_resources/mission_statement_builder
Just click on create your mission
Then in the flash window that opens go to Kickstart and follow the instructions.

Also don't forget to read
http://www.iwillchangeyourlife.com/2007/08/09/how-a-personal-mission-statement-can-help-you-change/

Why only cricket?

2007-10-27T22:36:00.000+05:30

This question has been asked and the issue has been a debate for a long time now. Why only cricket? Why do people in India ignore most of the other sports. Why does cricket enjoy such a large fan base? Why do people make cricket stars their gods? Lots of questions these and the answers if any stem from some valid facts. Consider what P. T Usha has to say at http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1130202
Well, she shares what I think and most of us Indians feel. Cricket seems to be the only sport which manages a consistency of some sort in holding our interests. We won the 1983 world cup which was enough to stir people's interest in cricket. The recent twenty20 world cup win has again somewhat revived people's interest in cricket. The other sports be it hockey, football, or any other sport does not interest people because they lack consistent performance. I am sure if some level of achievement happens in the other sports, then people will start taking interest in them too.

The two dragons

2007-10-27T21:55:00.000+05:30

The search for the dragon of the blue
Seeking rest is the tired soul

Two dragons we are, the red and the blue
Red symbolizes love and blue the spirit

The exhausting world is set as a labyrinth
Too many paths, too many hurdles to overcome

But the heart is strong and keeps on searching
Fighting to get the rest it longs for

Rest in the bosom of long lost love
Like a drink from the everlasting spring

To meet is our destiny, written on our foreheads
When, where and how is a romantic mystery

The stage is set, the universe awaits
Not far now says the rejuvenating spirit

So till we meet, we carry hopes and dreams
They will be fulfilled and cruel separation no more.

Written from the depths of my heart - The Red Dragon

The green grass

2007-10-26T21:21:00.000+05:30

We all have heard it "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence". Well there is a comical continuation to it "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence cause maybe they used better fertilizer over there".

The fact remains that most of us try to live another person's life. We tend to worry about the gardens far away when there are roses blooming right outside our window. Life has become a comparison and nothing else.

We see people and start envying them. We say maybe we could or should be like them. They are smart or beautiful or ambitious or successful. So we should be like them too. While having an aim in life is good but isn't that living another person's life. We want to be successful by comparing ourselves with the other person. We want to be like them or maybe even better than them.

That is what ruins many people. Consider the movie stars, the cricketers or other famous personalities. Many people consider them gods and want to be like them. They will run away from home, lose everything, risk their lives just to try and become like them. As I said having an aim in life is good but then throwing away your life for it is sheer madness.

It doesn't matter how much better we are than other people. What matters is how much we improve over ourselves. Every instant we need to grow better than our past selves. That seems to me like a path to success. We should constantly challenge ourselves, break our own barriers. Attempt things which will get us out of our comfort zone and go that extra distance. That is what creates success in our lives.

Friends: Attachment and separation

2007-10-21T22:20:00.000+05:30

This topic is very touchy for me. And frankly speaking in terms of remaining in contact, I don't think I have been very good at friendship.

For me friends are divided into three categories:

1)Normal friends are those who we meet whether in college, home or at work. They are with us when we work, when we play or at any events.
2)Good friends are those who care for each other, who seek each others company not just for work, play but also to share their joys, sorrows and things from their personal life.
3)Best friends are those who are more so like brothers or sisters. They will be with each other whenever possible. They do not even need to ask about problems as they know all about the other person who he is, how he thinks, his likes, dislikes and troubles.

Now most of us have a lot of friends of the first type. Many of them are people where we work or when we went to college or school. Getting friends of the second and third type is difficult atleast for me. But once we get such friends, life completely changes. We feel someone cares for us. Someone ready to share life with our own. That is a very beautiful feeling.

Frankly, I have just recently been attached so much to friends. Previously, I had many normal friends and whenever separation has occurred, it pained a bit but then life continued and since the bonds were not that strong, the pain of separation eased out over a period of time.

Recently, I don't really know the reasons but I have become attached to a few people. Maybe because we worked together, actually stayed together for such a long period of time. Maybe because they were the ones who cared for me even if a little bit. Maybe this attachment is stronger from my side than the other. So now when there is a lot of separation going on with friends, a really painful feeling is felt inside.

Just thinking that we won't be seeing the other person too often causes a feeling of nausea every passing day. A sick feeling occurs in the stomach just thinking about how that person will get separated from us. And I don't think there is any solution to avoid this pain. It will have to be endured and we have to make peace with our hearts and hope to remain in touch with the person as much as possible.

This post is for one of my good friends who might be separating in some time.

Stage Fright: What I did (or understood about it)

2007-10-21T19:11:00.000+05:30

We know that there are two kinds of people. One is the type who love to get on to a stage and talk their heads off. The other type (which includes me) are the ones who are happy standing at the bottom of the stage and listening. Now mind you it does not mean that we don't speak. We could be giving those stage guys a run for their money when talking with friends and family. But when it comes to climbing those few steps of a podium and speaking, we get tongue-tied. Our hearts start beating faster, the pulse races, we have butterflies in our stomach and even fainting is a possibility.

I've always had this stage fright thing since childhood. Getting on to a stage and speaking was a no no with me. So I would avoid any debates, elocution or other such competitions although I was at a different level of thinking. I once managed to get myself registered for a Marathi elocution competition but chickened out at the last minute. Because during rehearsal when I went and stood on the stage, I got the worst case of the stage fright and could not speak a word. So I made excuses and managed to escape from there.

This trend continued even in college and engineering. I never tried for any competition in college like drama or elocution because of my stage fright. It's just recently that I have managed to improve myself. Now I still get stage fright and am scared when it comes to going on stage. But thanks to some books and philosophy I manage to overcome my fear.

Following are the things that guide me whenever I get stage fright:

1) I was lucky that I had to give presentations to people I know and had worked with a for a long time. So I would get the courage because I would tell myself that these are my friends and I am just explaining things to my friends, so there is no need to be afraid because they know me and I know them. And since the presentations were a little informal, I would try to use some humor in the presentations because humor always manages to reduce the tension.

2) Dale Carnegie's book helped me. One statement that helped was that if you are afraid of doing something then you should keep on doing it as much as possible and soon you will gain confidence in that. That is what I tried to do when I was giving presentations to people. Every presentation helped me gain more confidence in myself.

3) We get stage fright because we are afraid that we may do or say something wrong and embarrass ourselves. Important thing is to prepare ourselves well in advance and go for it. We should rehearse the presentation or speech as much as possible. Even the actors in movies do not get the shot in the first take. They have to rehearse again and again. So we should prepare and concentrate on giving the speech and throw out all the negative thoughts when we are preparing for it.

This does not mean that I have got rid of my stage fright. I still feel afraid to go on a stage and speak to many people or even while giving an interview to a client. But what has changed is that I think of it as an opportunity to face my fears, show courage and increase my confidence.

I still have terrible stage fright in cases of dancing or singing. I just cannot bring myself to do it. Reason is because I have never learned to do them. So I lack the confidence required to start doing them.

But if we need to remember anything when we get a stage fright is
"Courage is not about not being afraid. It means that although we are afraid we will face our fears"

So if you are a person who has stage fright and you want to improve, the next time you get a chance, just grab it. Go on the stage, face your fears and see the level by which your confidence will improve.

This post is for a request from a friend.

A visit to the Prince of Wales Museum

2007-10-14T21:00:00.001+05:30

Today I took the time to visit the Prince of Wales museum at Fort, Mumbai. I wanted to visit it for a long time and decided that today I will go for sure. My mom was apprehensive cause today was Eid and there was a possibility of something nasty happening. That could also be seen by the number of police patrolling several of the places. But I had made up my mind that I had to go there to set my mind at peace.

So my journey started at around 10:30am. I caught a rickshaw, literally as it was a four person sharing rickshaw and I was sitting in the front seat with the driver. Then I reached Kurla station and went to buy a ticket. But today being Eid and Kurla being notorious for long queues, there was a really long line for the ticket. Somehow, I managed to stay patient and get a ticket. Then I headed for the platform for the fast train. Unfortunately, the fast trains were running very late for who knows what reason. So I changed to the platform for the slow train. Unfortunately again, the slow trains also were running late for who knows what reason. Somehow, I managed to hang on to a slow train which luckily made me hang only till Dadar where one could see a magic trick. Like a magician pulls out a rabbit from his hat, so also a large number of people pour out of the trains at Dadar.

The journey after that was pretty comfortable till CST. The I had to walk in the 12pm energy sapping sun. But I enjoy walking, especially when there is a challenge to it. The last time I had gone to the museum was in my college days and I was unclear about the directions. Now I know we can ask for directions, but to (real)men it seems like accepting defeat when it comes to asking directions, so we generally don't do that.

To be continued...

The Story of Jesus and the ten lepers

2007-10-14T20:41:00.000+05:30

Today was church time again. So I headed to Holy Cross Church at 7am. Today there was a sermon on the story of Jesus and the ten lepers.

The story is that there were ten lepers who came to Jesus to get healed. Jesus being the good dude completely healed the ten people and told them to go and show themselves to the temple priest to be officially declared as healed cause at that time people with leprosy were not allowed to stay with other people. But after healing them only one of the ten came back to thank God and Jesus. So Jesus asked if all ten were healed why only this person a foreigner has come to thank God but others have not.

The priest giving the sermon told that maybe one person thought that lets see if the healing is permanent, another thought that any great man could have healed him, other thought that maybe there was no leprosy, etc.

The moral of the story was that when we get blessings in our life we forget to thank God. We get good parents, good friends, a good life. But we take things for granted and we forget to thank God for all the beautiful things that are present in our life. So we should not be like that and be thankful to God.

Life means Learning

2007-10-13T21:23:00.000+05:30

Learning is such a beautiful thing. But somehow most of us stop learning after a certain age. We just don't seem interested in it. Maybe one of the reasons for it is whatever learning we did previously was just for achieving a career and not much more than that.

Personally, I feel it is important to learn. And by learning I don't mean earning hundreds of degrees by going to college. Sure, if you are interested then by all means do so. But if there is no interest and learning is just for improving your career then the motivation will decrease after some time.

So when we learn, it should be about things that interest us. You like fashion, learn about fashion. You like gardening, learn more about plants. Interested in programming, learn a programming language. But we should learn something because that is what makes us human beings. Constantly challenging and improving ourselves is what makes life interesting.

When we learn stuff which interests us, even though it might not make us rich in money but it will surely make us rich in satisfaction.

My goals of learning right now are divided into the following:
Improving my English vocabulary
Sharpening my basics in C/C++ programming and data structures
Improving my understanding of philosophy
Improving my physical fitness through exercise

Be True

2007-10-08T22:07:00.000+05:30

I had an appointment with the dentist today. As I was waiting for my turn, I noticed a magazine related to education. I picked it up and as I flipped through the pages, I found a couple of interesting articles. One of them was this poem called "Be True"

Be True

Thou must be true thyself,
If thou the truth wouldst teach;
Thy soul must overflow, if thou
Another's soul would'st reach!
It needs the overflow of heart
To give the lips full speech.

Think truly, and thy thoughts
Shall the world's famine feed;
Speak truly, and each word of thine
Shall be a fruitful seed;
Live truly, and thy life shall be
A great and noble creed.

by Horatius Bonar

Why are humans so biased?

2007-10-06T20:02:00.000+05:30

Do you remember the stories of prince and princess, of kings and queens that we read in our childhood in books like "Chandamama" or "Tinkle" or any other. It would always be that the prince would be handsome and the princess would be beautiful. And they would meet and live happily ever after.

This shows how biased we are and how we inculcate these values right from childhood. The hero is always rich and handsome. The heroine is always beautiful and attractive.

Most men are always attracted to the beautiful chicks. And most women always admire the smart and handsome men. Whether it is for a date or a proposal, the first thing that is seen is how beautiful the person looks.

This mindset has been prevalent from our grandparents and parents time who I am sorry to say really have closed minds when it comes to things like these.

So the truth seems that the rich, the smart and the beautiful always seem to have an advantage in this world.

Facing a Job Crisis

2007-10-04T21:38:00.001+05:30

One of my friends mentioned that she doesn't like what she is doing right now. She said something called "job satisfaction" seems to be missing from her present job. Now I must admit that I too sometimes get this feeling and I am sure a lot of people must be facing the same situation.

Now this might mean different to different people. One person might feel that he should be getting dirty into device driver programming and kernel stuff instead of creating sissy GUI apps. Another might feel that it's okay to get a 9 to 5 job and have a happy balanced life instead of slogging 12-14 hours a day over something stated as highly challenging.

Then there are those who are even more diverse. One of these guys might feel what the hell is he/she doing in a cubicle, staring at a screen and ordering the hardware around when they could be out in the world enjoying the glory of travel and nature, doing things that directly help other people, enjoy their role in this world.

That is what means a Job Crisis for me. I too tend to get into a mini job crisis sometimes. For me, I'd more enjoy a 9 to 5 job if it were possible and enjoy time with my family, friends and nature. But then I also love some really technical stuff. So I get caught between the two, trying to balance both.

Well, coming to the solutions. I am no expert in such stuff but the first thing to do is to really find out what you want to do. It doesn't matter what. Anything that you want to spend your precious life doing. Once that is decided things become easy because you get a priority of what you want to do. Like if you want to create GUI applications, take courses on GUI tools, read books on creating cool GUIs, etc. If you want to balance your work and life, decide how much time you will spend on both, cut down on your work, get involved at home, etc.

And when you are satisfied with your efforts go and get that job which you want and I can almost guarantee that you will get it.

Why we dislike estimation?

2007-10-02T20:44:00.001+05:30

Well, haven't we all(by all I mean the software engineers and programmers and testers and anyone involved in the task of creating and selling software) suffered the effects of the nightmare called Project Estimation.

Don't we feel upset that we end up getting the short end of the stick. All is well and fine with the world, until a project is to be brought forth into this world. Then start all the procedures of requirement analysis, design, test cases, etc, etc. But not before the estimation both in terms of time as well as money is sent to the client.

Now we all should know that estimation is one of the most important tasks of not just software engineering but any project be it mechanical or civil or electrical. It is estimation that enables one to know how much resources (time, money, manpower) they will require to satisfy the customer with a quality product.

But that is the exact point which makes the software industry so different than others. With dynamically changing skill requirements and an attrition rate higher than any other industry, the software industry begins to differ from the others. The estimation procedures seem extremely flawed since most of the projects have never been previously executed. So an estimation ends up being more of a guess work than anything else.

The sad part is that the time frame seems highly improbable in most cases and is merely something as minimal as possible to bag the project. Later, when the schedule naturally starts slipping, the late stays and the software patches and the heated arguments start to flow. More people are added to the project completely ignoring the wise teachings of "The Mythical Man Month". I would recommend this book to all software professionals who are serious about creating quality software.

To be fair to the guys who do it, they have to do it to get the project as that is where they can compete with their competitors. Because the entire industry does it and now we have come to expect that a project will always have extremely tough deadlines and we need to deliver within that time frame.

Now the average programmer(which includes me) has nothing to do with this. His world consists of completing the task as needed. He take it as a challenge to dive into the difficult if not impossible tasks of building software castles in the air. But because of this he suffers not only physically but also mentally when the realization of the position he is in dawns upon him.

There are times when the impossible is achieved and the ecstasy that follows is immeasurable. But such situations and far and few. And while we muddle through nightmares to satisfy our conscience, we begin to feel that are we really software professionals or slaves of our own enthusiasm.

Guess this post is starting to get a bit long so I estimate to write some more in another post.

Does BPO staff have health problems?

2007-09-30T21:15:00.001+05:30

The Health and IT Ministry wants to create a health policy for the IT workplace.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Govt_to_frame_health_policy_for_BPO_staff/rssarticleshow/2410328.cms

I am a little confused as what does the IT workplace constitute. But before that a question. Is the health of an average BPO employee suffering too much? I really don't know the answer. But logic seems to tell that night shifts and stressful situations along with irregular eating habits surely aren't going to create the healthiest of people. So I am sure there is some truth to the concerns that the ministry has stated and NASSCOM should have a healthy discussion with the ministry on the topic with an open mind because if the IT industry suffers the entire country will suffer.

And what does the IT workplace constitute? I think the health policy should extend to outsourcing companies as well where employees have to work in shifts and for a longer stressful period of time.

Since today is World Heart Day, it should not be missed that Indians are genetically prone to heart disease and the number of youngsters who are falling prey to it is alarming. The stress and irregular eating habits with a sedentary lifestyle are just speeding up the process of a hearty disaster.

The youth of our country is progressing but at what cost. One wonders.

Hattrick for Indian sports (Asia Cup, Twenty20 and now World Chess Champion)

2007-09-30T20:59:00.001+05:30

First we had the Indian hockey team win the Asia Cup Hockey tournament in Chennai.
Then Indian cricket had one of it's finest moments in recent times when it won the Twenty20 world cup in South Africa.
And now another great news that Vishwanathan Anand has become the world chess champion replacing Vladimir Kramnik.

Now I must admit that like most Indians I have always been biased towards cricket than any other sport. Several factors came into play for my bias but the most important of them was that cricket is the only sport in which India seems to provide consistency in victories if considered over a longer span of time. Now I know many people will object to this remark. But as I said it comes naturally for an Indian to be brought up with a bias towards cricket.

But I am willing to share my interests with the other sports especially hockey as I had promised that I would be willing to do so if there are any positive developments in the other games that India plays. I just hope there can be more consistency achieved by our teams so that the enthusiasm does not just die away.

India is struggling to find heroes that have just got lost in time. Inspirational heroes have been missing be it in sports or politics or social reforms. So it's good that there are some potential role models on the rise.

Review: How to live on 24 hours a day by Arnold Bennett

2007-09-30T16:38:00.001+05:30

I listened to the audio book "How to live on 24 hours a day" by Arnold Bennett. You can get it in text or audio form at http://librivox.org/how-to-live-on-twenty-four-hours-a-day-by-arnold-bennett/

It is a short and sweet book about how we can make better use of our time in living our lives instead of just existing. The author indicates a lot of suggestions to help us use just a little bit of our time to actually create the lives that we would be happy with and enjoy living it. He makes it clear that there is no magic way to improve our lives but through proper use of our time which is given in the same amount i.e 24 hours whether to the king or to the beggar or to the cat by the fire.

The book consists of the following 12 chapters:

1. Preface
Here the author mentions how people value money more than time though money can be earned in more quantities but time cannot. So time is more precious than money. Also every being gets the same amount of time. No one gets it more or less. There are just 24 hours everyday and it is up to us to use them. Time does not give loans, not does it give credit. People are not punished for wasting time and their purse of time gets full everyday. They have all the time they want starting from now.

2. Precautions Before Beginning
This chapter warns that the things to be done for better utilization of time is nothing magical but sensible. There is no shortcut way and the way to improve ourself will cause us to change our regular habits for which we get uncomfortable and will have to work hard.

3. The Desire to Exceed One's Programme
This chapter states that there are people who already live their lives well whether at home or at work or both. And there are others who are suffering boredom and dissatisfaction with their time at work and due to that they also suffer in their time at home. This book intends to help people improve the quality of their lives no matter in what position they are right now.

4. The Cause of the Troubles
The author takes the case of an average working person to see how he/she spends one day of his/her life starting from morning, going to work, coming back home and sleeping.

5. Tennis and the Immortal Soul
Here is mentioned that we need to spend time not only on the activities that we enjoy like meeting friends, movies, etc but we should also spend some time on gaining knowledge to improve our lives over what it is right now.

6. Remember Human Nature
But the author also tells to keep our options open and allow for human nature. We should have strictness in our studying of our lives but we should also be open for dynamism in our lives as and where they occur for we are human.

7. Controlling the Human Mind
The starting step is to achieve mastery over concentration. For this, the author mentions that we can use our time while travelling to improve our concentration. This can be done by choosing a subject that interests us and thinking about it as much time as possible. When the mind gets distracted, bring it back on track to the subject. This will improve concentration.

8. The Reflective Mood
After improving concentration, we should spend some time on the most important part which is reflection. It means introspection about how we are living our lives as per our principles, how we can improve our lives from our current situation.

9. Interest in the Arts
This chapter mentions about people who are interested in arts like music, painting, etc. How they can improve their quality of understanding the arts.

10. Nothing in Life is Humdrum
This chapter mentions about people who believe in cause and effect. Who don't care about arts or literature but about scientific study and how they can improve their understanding.

11. Serious Reading
This chapter is for people who enjoy reading. It mentions that it is better to read more of literature than novels as novels just provide the pace but don't improve our understanding. Also mentioned is that poetry though a difficult form of literature, the understanding it gives creates a tremendous satisfaction.

12. Dangers to Avoid
Finally the author mentions that our improvement should not make us feel superior to others, that we should be concerned with our share of time and that we should not get chained to our discipline but use it to improve ourselves.

So I am trying to put some of the suggestions of this book into practice. I always have wanted to improve my concentration. Also I am interested in learning more about music, poetry and science. So I will be getting more involved in understanding those topics.

The main point that the author stresses on is that when we go about putting things into practice we should avoid over eagerness because that may result in failure for trying to do too much and discourage us. Instead we should start following those steps for a little time every week and the improvements will be there to see.

The Parable of the Rich Man and the Poor Man

2007-09-30T12:00:00.001+05:30

I went to church today morning at 7 am. Yes, I manage to get up early even on weekends thanks to a childhood habit.

Now generally the sermons at church get pretty boring. So I usually tend to think about something else. But today's sermon was a bit interesting. It was about the parable of the Rich Man and the Poor Man Lazarus taken from the Bible.

Now it states there was a rich man who had lots of wealth, money, servants, etc. You name it he had it. And just outside the gate of his mansion there was a poor man who was very sick. He had wounds all over his body and the dogs licked his wounds. His name was Lazarus. Now one day both of these dudes died. The rich man found himself in hell getting tortured in fire while Lazarus was enjoying his stay in Heaven. So the rich man calls out to Abraham to tell Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in cold water and place it on his tongue as he was dying from heat. But Abraham says that there is a great divide between the two places and a person cannot go from one to another. So the rich dude begs that at least he send Lazarus to his house where he has 5 brothers so that he can warn them and they too don't land in hell like the rich man did. But Abraham refuses saying if they did not listen to wise people like Moses, how will they listen to someone who is dead.

So this is basically how the parable of the Rich Man and the Poor Man is stated in the Bible.

Fine, I said. This is how the parable has been mentioned in many sermons. Well, what made today's sermon interesting was the point put forth by the priest that there is no mention in the Bible that the rich man was a sinner or that he was the cause of Lazarus' misfortune. Neither did Lazarus ever ask him for help. But he went to hell. Also it's not mentioned that Lazarus was a good man or a saintly man. Still he managed to go to heaven. Why?

So the moral of the parable was that it is not just enough to not do bad deeds. We should also try and help people who are in trouble. The rich man did not do bad deeds but failed to use his blessings to help Lazarus. So by doing nothing of his talents he went to hell.

Why did Lazarus go to heaven? Well, it seems that the name Lazarus signifies "trusting in God's help" in Hebrew. So Lazarus had faith in God even when he was suffering. That is why he managed to reach heaven.

So this sermon interested me as it was different from the usual historical stuff. It related to our present lives and not just something to be heard of as a part of history. That is what separates good sermons from the average, when it shows how the sayings of the Bible relate to our present day lives and how we can use that wisdom to seek meaning in our present lives. That is the essence of what a sermon is supposed to be.